Broken Dreams

Do you really and truly believe
that I am the cause of your problems
that my decisions broke your dreams
my requests erased your future?

How did the years of support
backbreaking loyalty and love
become so easily dismissed
so lightly forgotten

You don't recall the wars fought on your behalf
me against the world,
while you sat on the sidelines to
Me choosing you and yours
over my own life
my own freedom
my own dreams, gifts and talents

I built with you
worked with you
listened to you
encouraged you
for years

while you made excuses
how enough wasn't enough
how your focus had changed
how the dream just wasn't in you
Now in hind sight, it's my fault?

Maybe it is
Cause I gave away too much
waiting for an even exchange, eventually
instead your support takes on envious form
judgemental and angry
my need dismissed as self pity
my wants always weighed against your
coulda shoulda's

you know what
you see me like the world sees me
the gloss, the bullshit
the fake accomplishments that mean nothing more
than another paper mounted on the wall

After a decade or more, you still haven't met me
learned me
taken the time to see me
understand me

Only to you, I tried to show my soul
opened it and laid it out
You slammed it shut
like a dry book
uninterested, bored, so desperately hoping
I'll just shut up, go away
leave you to this week's hobby
this month's new interest

You never know
you just may get your wish.