Spark My Flow

You ignite my flow
stimulating imagination
dreams, fantasies and ideas that
I have no courage to
actually enact

You know it
that's why you
tease, flirt and smile
engage, avoid, interact
then withdraw
just enough to
keep my interests piqued
just enough to
be clearly unavailable....


**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

She Apologized

She apologized
and it confused me
kinda made me sad
guilty feeling, because
she was the only one that
ever tried to do right by me

Took time to
observe my uncomfortable fit
she tried to
usher in some cool
some game, at least a little
didn't want her niece
suffering more
isolation and separation.......

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Phone Number

I don't call folks
that I don't know
It's the simple rule
you got to know someone
who knows someone
who knows me

But, you were too fine to deny
to your face
so I accepted number figurin
scrap would just eventually float away,
disappear
just like the memory of you

You placed number in my palm
and held on
applying pressure, so gently
but firm, firm enough
while eyes remained focused
trailing a blaze, smoldering heat
under your touch.........

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Don't Say A Word

Smoke filtered through and
alcohol induced laughter carried into the night
Indignant shouts, righteous planning and plotting
They were confronting their men and
taking me with them


**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Willingly Aqcuiese

If I ask
will you tell?
Are you bold, brave enough
to lay it all out
I want a clear analysis
No. Not a brief overview

If you had me,
what would you do?

It's out there
I'm interested, thinking and weighing
scoping out the idea
Is it plausible? Possible?
Worth it?

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Love's Misunderstanding

I used to believe that love
meant total and complete possession
Belonging to me and only me

Every offense was a threat
to my inner woman
undermining any and everything
that we were

Therefore, I had to
hold on tight
grasp firmly
claw and fight
to remain suctioned to love

I was wrong.....

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Emotional Indifference

It took a while to realize
open eyes and admit
I don't know you at all,
not really

Romancing the physical,
laying hands on person,
rubbing lips and
intertwining limbs
merging breath and wind
to unison plateau
don't mean nothin
not really
when I don't really know you.....

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

May I?

Your love is a deep well
May I drink from your depths?
cherishing every precious drop
this hallowed bank of golden spirit
your essence, streamed and plentiful

Your love is a meadow
May I sit on your grassy mounds?
peaceful and content
as your breathe blows trees
swirling around me
sprinkling orange and red leaves
all over, uncovered, free.....

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Come Back

I woke up in love with black men
not just one in particular, but
the collective, whole
the idea of strength and creativity
fortitude and
the belief in
pure relationship with loving women
protecting family with
fierce honor and pride

A feeling like highschool
watching boyfriends athletic feats
feeling goosebumps at the power
before DL rumors and jail statistics
HIV and condom ignorance
or refusal
misogynistic music pregnant with
self hate and death' destruction.........

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Cry For Me

One day
Ima take the time to
cry for me

A good hearty boohoo
well deserved and
damn straight justified
allow the little girl in me to
unravel and uncoil
crack shell around hidden emotion
and release pain like air
seeping from balloon...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

The Request

In one night
I opened my soul
revealed my heart and
displayed the internal confusion
new woman lust and awareness had
developed into new considerations, but
two years two late
for you

It was the first time
you were allowed a glimpse or
a slight taste of the
deep river flowing beneath my
innermost caves
normally still but suddenly rushing
slamming against shores
splashing onto banks of my mind...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Answered Prayer

I got on bended knee
prayed for a sign, clear answer
a direction
seeking clarity to
maternal dilemma
protect my seed from
family exposure

Within hours
you sent her
the third generation
physical embodiment of
emotional confusion
despair and depression
another psychotic daughter
of a torn dysfunctional unit...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Silver Lining

There is a silver lining
to this cloud
I have spotted it
although it is far, far
far beyond my reach

It's sight restores faith
refills my empty vessel
renews resolution to
forge ahead....

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Fell In Love

Fell in love with a man

Uhm, well, kinda sorta
not really in love, more like
infatuated stimulations and
intimate inspirations
mental musings
creating physical longing
requiring his direct reaction
calming, soothing and healing

I called it love, but
he knew what it was
understood my boundaries and limits
more than I
He never encroached past that
established parameter...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

You

I couldn't help but
want you
cling to the idea of you

You are the
breeze against my ear
the light touch on my temple
the caress on my lower back...

Mission Impossible

I wanted to meet
plan it out and
hookup with you
for the obvious,
to do what we came to do

You are the master of the creep
guiding and leading
instructing on this
darker side, clandestine world
previously unknown to me

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Eternal Price

Name the price of engagement.
Cause right now,
I swear I'm paying with
mind , body, spirit and soul

You are stripping me
wearing me down and unraveling
my energy
staining my reality
digging out my core while
observing me cruelly

Leave. Please, please leave.

But it isn't enough,
the slow decimation of me
you must destroy my very essence
until I am
bowed down
castrated and broken

Then you'll still hang on
'til this soul has been ripped
from the bent frame,
sucked out and destroyed
torn and tormented

You wish to rob and defile me
energize you and dethrone me
the same thing you loved, now repulses
and you must desecrate me until I
am no longer anything but a reflection of you
my beauty gone, minimized and reduced
to appease your self hate

All Man

How easy is it
to possess that masculine thing?
Does it just flow to you, like that?
Unmistakable mandom swallowing you whole
possessing and radiating
individual pulse
shocking every feminine bloom
within your radius

Don't you wonder how you've
got it like that
There are many fine men,
handsome and beautiful
but, they don't exude it
like you, baby...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Soul Kiss

I'm sending you a soul kiss.
Only to you.
This unique symbol of devotion and love.
Identifying my soul mate,
spiritual partner, physical lover and mental stimulator.

Yes. A soul kiss.

My innermost vibration
radiating slowly in circular expansion
like a penny thrown in a still pond
creating slight ripples,
spreading and pulsing against you
filling every orifice until
locating your most secret self

When our souls touch
yours will recall making love to me
uttermost wants and secret whispers
admitted desires and deepest promises...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Rejected Happiness

Proud to say
I've rejected happiness
that illusive tempter seducing me with
flexed arms and masculine carved back
offering whimsical pleasure in
intermittent bursts, but continuity
always outside my grasp

No more will I
participate in this salsa
grinding against happiness' hips
absorbing his unique power
anticipating full release but
suffering unfulfilled withdrawal

Uh uh. I don't need happiness...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Peace Offering

Confused
I find myself
wanting you
although I am not
in the least bit
attracted to you

This is bizarre or
kinda ridiculous because
my desire to envelope you
is irrational at best,
illogical and inexplicable....

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Missed Chance

It could've gone
either way that night
you must've known
why didn't you realize?

No choice was final
actually no decision had been made
so relieved to be done
free, released
celebration was the only thought
at the forefront of my mind...
**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

My Young Black Man

An entire future is
waiting for you
breathless with anticipation
hoping, praying, pleading
for you to stay on track

My young black man

The boy in you is
growing up, maturing
changing and expanding
discovering talents
developing skills

You were purposely
hidden in the shadows
your gifts apparent
your uniqueness so identifiable
I hid you in the depths of my heart
for protection
minimizing exposure
keeping your world small
to allow you to
plant roots and
grow firm

Maybe it wasn't right
but it was the best I could do

Now you emerge
split through the timid form
stepping forth a man
exuding strength and character
calm and love
fulfillment and destiny
just a stones throw away

Hang on, my young black man
please follow your path
be careful with your life
treat your being with respect
remain prayerfully diligent
that your way is lighted,
path predetermined
success guaranteed

Down 4 Whatever

What happened?
We've lost that
down for whatever, whenever
spontaneity

Indulgent enjoyment
physical and spiritual
limited means, but
privileged circumstance
manifesting hourly enjoyment
daily lingering, playing
submerging, experimenting

Baby, I'm down for whatever
whenever
basement stools and
family room floors
attic coves and
bathroom showers
kitchen tables and
backseat benches

Time like grains of sand
pouring through hands
landing bountiful at our feet

But now it's gone
plagued by
responsibility and
grown folk drama
consuming energy and
exhausting creativity
snuffing out primal urging
making bed time actual sleep time

We can get it back
it's still there, I feel it
just rustle it up and recreate
preserve a bit of us
away from the world
set aside for only you and I

Hmm, naw, we don't have
to wait for tonight
with you, baby
I'm down for whatever.

Escape

The possibility of escape
freedom and release
so tantalizing and
exciting

inciting planning and scheming
just short of lying
to create the scenario
script the circumstance

I can do this and
they don't have to know

Intimate thoughts hush, but
loudly thumping in the
hollow of my ear
increasing pressure
mounting heartbeat pounding
against ribbed cage

I can do this

I can create this space
free from responsibility
removed from obligation
vacuum tunnelled and silent
roaring and shouting

just for a little while
just for a little bit
a small, tiny
muy pequeño
space
just for me

Cinnamon Brown

So cinnamon brown
warm and gentle
molding me with
kind touch
smell, earthy but masculine
lingering

So sweet to the taste
light lips exchange
breathless whispers
We barely touch, but
connect all the same
eyes closed, holding onto
images of you,
cinnamon brown

So deep, blush rose
embarrassed by instant attraction and
mind wandering magnetism to
cinnamon brown
curiosity overwhelming all home training
rose petals velvet to the touch
blooming to expose lush inside
responding to
cinnamon brown kisses and whispers
breezes and tickles

So magical, opening so slowly
enthralled and more engorged
deep rose in full bloom
longing for
cinnamon brown

Merging cohesively, creating
blinding gold tinged lights
stars and seamless glow
breathless fixation as
this light grows brighter, stronger
consciousness fades while light surges
within, smooth and full then
shuddering and thrashing
gasping and seizing
bursting into a million fragments
eyes open, amazed
rested on you
cinnamon brown

Technorati Profile

Word Lost

No words tonite
blank slate stares
back at me
empty, unscratched
virginal and pure

The written word
unavailable, blocking me
slapping me away
turning it's back
denying all access

I've been irresponsible
uncareful with the gift
convenient and loose
flagrant and abusive
the talent,
temporarily allowed to
dwell within,
has evaporated

Inspiration simply under license
reliant on spiritual and moral compass
Failure to uphold
fundamental beliefs leads to
sparse ideas, floating unattached and disengaged
fragments of nothing

Judgement and punishment
sentencing and damning
for loose lips and sensual expression
contributing to ethic erosion and
polluted mental hemisphere

My license has been revoked, ya'll
the written word has denied my access.

Loves Form

What form does
your love take?
Do you know?

Is it gentle, kind
caressing and loving
expanding, retracting
allowing change and growth?

Maybe more wistful
just enough to
stimulate senses but
always out of reach
vapor covered mirage
real, but unsustained
leaving longing and want
hope of fulfillment

Although you're gritty
I hope its not
laying hands, pushing and pulling
neck choking and body slamming
disrespect designed to enhance
weak self esteem and power

Naw. That ain't you.
Your love is firm, but not hard
real, but not harsh
truthful, but not painful
protecting, but not suffocating
A warm blanket of security
creating peace and calm
sensual passion, inspirational creativity
loving experimentation and surprise.

I know I'm right.
It's in your eyes
I can't wait to experience
the form of your love.

That was love

How can I be here again
but never have
experienced this before?

Impossible to
feel each move
tingles chasing your
fingertips
causing
sensual spasms
throughout my cover

I have been here before
but never experienced this

Fighting back
onslaught of emotion
surprise and fear
overcome by
excitement and anticipation
swallowing moans and cries
focusing on bliss
while pleasure blooms
and explodes
covers me in
goosebumps and chills

Wake me up, please...

I know I have been here before,
but never, ever, ever
experienced anything like this

Tears flood and pour
down my cheeks
light sprinkles dance
across my face
on parted lips
gasping and gulping for
breath and air
mounted tension
peaks and release
allowing me to
settle down
slowly, comfortably
cradled in the nook of you
unable to move
holding on

What was that?
I wonder

You open eyes, stare deep
inhale me, exhale you
my heart swells, surges forward
calls to you and
heeds your response

Connected.
I am connected to you
inexplicable yet undeniable

I ask aloud
"How can I have been here
but never experienced this before?"

You answer
whisper slowly and softly,
eyelids heavy
heart full, answering
clear and certain

"Because that was love."

Post Partum

Trapped.
Stuck between
maternal instinct and
wifely obligation
household duties mounting
while I negotiate
sibling demands

I am trapped.
Stuck.
Separated and disengaged
my body stretched and distorted
from huge baby manipulating
tiny womb
Dry skin and brittle hair
rough elbows and dry soles
Where am I, me
dissolved and lonely
lost in this
unidentifiable form

Grasping newborn
while infant crawls past
both lovely and blessed
but I remain
unaware, staring at
sunlight streaming through blinds
but only seeing shadows
doom and loneliness

I am alone. So, so alone.

What is wrong with me?
I should be happy
not so confused and torn
should be lighthearted
instead of suffering soul aches
failures mounting at the forefront
of my mind
successes whittling away into
obscurity

I must fight through
grasp for air and
seek out peace
calm the internal wailing and
trust in release and resurrection

I can cast off this
mask of confusion
rebuke this
temptress called depression
turn inward and beg for help
until light
returns and reclaims my soul

Blind Eye

Don't you see the signs?

After 40 months of
loving
supporting
sexing and
bank rolling

You turn blind eye and
make excuses
replacing his cold hard lying
with your own hopeful logic and
faithful justifications

Ignoring the obvious and
righteously rationalizing the
cruel and blatant...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**