Sigh

Sigh
release that air
depress those lungs
let it out
loose
flow
raw

your energy
trusting me, finally
letting go and
loosening up
trying it
trying me
giving your heart and
taking that risk

plunge in
hold your breathe and
dive all the way down
submerge and allow you
to be swallowed in
the realness of this
the oneness of this
the unbelievable rawness of this

sigh
let loose
release breathe
depress lungs
look in my eyes
your spirit
smiles
remains intertwined
breath
slowly
welcome home

Soul Mate

Could we be soul mates
Is it possible
rendering the spoken word
unnecessary
to capture hearts identifying
spiritual twin
in one another

You have linked to my spirit
my very essence
the mirror to my soul
the reflection of pure grace
so simple and easy
smooth and unaffected
without spoken word and
social nonsense

Could we be soul mates
how will I ever know
how can I confirm that
this feeling is not wrong
strong, but not misplaced

How could you feel
what I feel
know my confusion
sympathize with my longing
how can you understand me so
you must be
my soul mate

Come Here

Come here
I wanna show you something
want you to look in my eyes
and see yourself
the way I see you

Come here,
I wanna show you something
press your hand against my breast and
feel the beat of my heart
as it quickens while my eyes
rest upon you

Come here,
I need to tell you something
want you to stand still while I
lean against your broad frame
stand on tippy toe
and
whisper how much I want you
in every way

Come here,
please let me tell you something
want you to hear me heart aching
gasping for breath
longing so deeply for
just the slight smell of you

Come here,
I need to show you something
that only you can see
I nee to tell you something
that only you can hear
I need you to understand
how deeply I feel you
how intimately I am connected to you

I need you to come here...

Future Husband

"So, you got benefits?"
he asked me
devilish smile
splitting his face in two
so used to easily
roping women in

"What?" my mind went blank
was this guy serious?
fine as hell, but over confident for sure
"What's your name?" he asked
laughing at me now
my face twisted like I
smelled something foul
I told him, not wanting to be rude
he was, after all, a friend of a friend

"Get out, let me see you"
oh, hell no. He had the
car door open, leaning there on thick legs
ready to judge me up and down
I had to put an end to this
put this guy in his place
place an end to all this nonsense
let him know he was out of his league

"No need for me to get out,
your too short for me anyway."
There. The dagger had been thrown
Thought he would hurl out a slur
and make his exit

Instead he laughed, found my sarcasm clever
thought me bold,
someone worth the energy of conquering
"Oh, your a fiesty one," he smiled, laughing again
this time, I really looked at him
enjoying his ease of self
his ability to smile
his casual way
his calm magnitude

Despite myself, I climbed out of the car
measured myself up against him
found a new and comfortable fit

Made myself a lifetime friend that night
exchanging quick comments and
sarcastic retorts
trading numbers and future dreams
planning future rendezvous
making plans with my
future husband

Noticed

It took me a moment
to realize that he was interested
had somehow noticed me
among the sea of smiling faces
and decided to clue in
return my gaze
catch my eye

There was a time
when I felt so invisible
wishing someone would simply
see me
realize that an energy force
dwelled within me
but, that was long ago
before life and maturity
released me from depressions despair

Feeling free and happy
peaceful
exuding confidences beauty
I hadn't even noticed him
noticing me
Until well into this tango

instead of feeling flattered
or hiding in fear
I finally accepted
that I am worth being noticed
that I possess something
worth observing
that a man's attention is
a welcome compliment
not life defining
but warmly reassuring

So, yeah, it took me a moment
to accept that I had made it
onto his grid and
determine that I was worth it
but when it finally sank in
I gladly returned the acknowledgement
gladly indulged myself in his attention
gladly accepted his interest
in me.

Lust's Revelation

What kind of woman would I be
if I gave in to your every desire
succumbed to your unspoken demands
released myself and
this quiet passionate fury
at your mere suggesting or
direct command

That's what you claim to want

Tell me, how would you see me
if I held your hand and
led you to the darkest corners
the secret conclave
where imagination runs free and unencumbered
passion's curiosity is allowed to unfold
untamed and unleashed
fulfilling your wildest fantasy and
enacting your most vivid idea

Isn't that what you think you want?

But the truth is
it would change things
shatter your daily image of me
destroy your belief of who I am
leaving you confused
disappointed, possibly disgusted
admiration's lust sizzling down to
regrets melancholy
making you unable to
hold me in a revered light
or long for me from afar

Which is why it could never be
cause what kinda women would that make me?

Empty

Wanted to give you
something
a little more
a little nicer
a bit fuller
somewhat kinder
maybe a tad sharper
slighter
leaner
more precise
exact

Wanted to stimulate you
excite you
tantalize and incite you
leave you leaning over
on the edge
grasping out
reaching straining
yearning and longing
gasping and stretching
teasing your fingertips

Wanted to feed you just enough
wet your whistle and
fill your pallet
make you cozy full and
comfortably relaxed
satiate you and
quench your thirst
answer your every question
become your perfect resolution

I wanted to,
so desperately wanted to
but instead, I left you
empty

No Regret

I should regret this
I know
laying here, listening to you breathe
wanting to absorb a few more seconds of you
moments of you

you are not mine
and I have no right
to enjoy every interaction so much
to allow my self to be
completely absorbed by your effervescence
completely submerged when I am
intertwined with you

I should regret this
but I don't

there is no right, no winner
so much to be lost
way too much at risk
yet I lay here
pleading for time to slow down
for daylight to stretch on
so I can remain
cocooned in the silken thread
of your insatiable love
trapped in the indestructible loop
of this remarkable rendezvous

I should regret this
but I don't

Cherish

I cherish each moment with you
brief interaction lasts an eternity
burrowing into the inner chambers
of my heart
the deepest recesses
of my mind
recalled whenever I have
a free minute, a few seconds
a quick moment to inhale and
reminisce

I cherish every meeting with you
words evaporating into
oblivion, because my memory
captures only the essence of you
the movement of your lips
the vastness of your smile
the concentrated energy
radiating from your beautiful eyes
the stirring in the pit of my soul
at the sound of your voice
wondering what it would sound like
saying my name
over and over

I cherish the simple warmth of you
crave and yearn for a deeper knowledge
an inside glimpse, an intimate view
revealing what you think when
you smile directly at me
watch my lips move
examine my eyes whenever I look away
observe me without listening to a word I say

but, that is something
I will never know
so, instead, I simply
cherish my neverending thoughts
of you

Helpless

I keep feeling hoodwinked
foiled and foolish
like every time I sigh
take a minute to reflect on
life's peace and miracle's birth
my nation is shattered
torn
shredded to pieces

Thirty three.
thirty three dead?
how many more shot?
nameless gunman, faceless savage
ripping and destroying
reaping havoc on
utopias learning ground

once again, I am
helpless
like watching my people
float in city streets conformed to
alligator filled swamps
waiting in vain
dehydrated and politically sacrificed

helpless
as desperation convinced folks
to hurl themselves from the Towers
rather than burn or
remain trapped for days
until life was finally snuffed out

helpless
while elections were manipulated and rigged
sibling connections manifesting
hanging chads and disappearing acts
voter fraud andwidespread disenfranchisement

helpless
while my men and women
march among oil fields
protecting from a blurred enemy and
the world's scorn
in the name of
freedom's spread

helpless while today's travesty
became one man's repreive
releasing him from
explaining another Bush scandal
turning the grim reaper's massacre
into another political battle cry
a false cover

helpless
as my world
spins off its axis

*My prayers to every member of the Virginia Tech world, students, victims, witnesses, family and friends...
{written for Poetic Prodigies - www.ghettosoul.com}

You're Back

You came back
I can't believe it
didn't realize how much I would miss you
until you were gone

An empty spot
a vacant void
my essence searched for you
your inquisitiveness, your basic interest
that sustains me
drives me
allows me to close my eyes
relax my mind
take an easy breeze
and simply let it flow

but you weren't there
to receive me, to learn me
to hide that devilish grin and
stifle excitement's surprise
rise
by the intimate revealings of me

but now you have returned
and the lustful longings that you create
by thinking of me
smiling at me
watching me when you think
I don't know
I feel their return too

inspiring a thousand more thoughts
a thousand more ways to
let desire ooze from my pen
stain the clear paper
with intimacies secret pleasures

I am so glad
to have you back

Miss Porcelain

So perfect
the easy target
so highly disliked
so heavily disfavored
others jealousy leaving
little room for
sympathy or understanding
inner city logic left
no pity for the
poor little rich girl

But the attack came from
the one she trusted,
held most dear, believed to a fault
and all he really felt for her
was simple contempt
that he laughed about
behind her back
finally demonstrating in one night
that he was her god
and she meant nothing

he chose the biggest scene
to sport another
demonstrate his savvy
making her a laughable mockery
and no one reached out
helped her, or even
whipped his ass
as she watched in tears
while he and his shined like diamonds
in the best her money could buy
and the masses smiled
happy to finally witness
the cracks in
Miss Porcelain's shell

What Do I Do?

Couldn't sleep tonite
without placing pen against pad
and releasing this ever tightening noose
this pent up ball
pressing heavily against my chest
its ramifications slamming
against the inner well of my mind

Couldn't sleep tonite
cause it finally occurred to me
so simple, so plain
yet so impossible and unattainable
I, I want you
like a deep insatiable thirst
a longing, undeniable and anguishing
unrelinquished and impenetrable
I cannot disperse it
dilute it
remove it
resolve it
rinse it away
shove it out
pick it desperately from the
annals of my heart

I want you

Finally, my mind realizes it
identifies it
places name to this
deep destructive aching
tearing at my very nature
accepting an idea that my subconcious
desperately tried to refrain

It is clearly want
only for you

Now tell me,
what am I supposed
to do with that?

Bored With Me

Im bored with me
with my whinings and worryings
my problems and idiosyncracies

the world is much bigger
there is more to care about
think about
contribute to
withdraw from

It's selfish actually
to get lost in the thought of me
the musings of me
inserting you into my
little dreams, little expressions
disregarding the neverending needs
of a heard voice
the millions of outcries
for a caring ear
the emotional bags searching
for a strong shoulder
while I turn deaf ear and blinded eyes
staring at only you

It's ridiculous, actually
the all consumed selfishness
therefore, I better clear my mind
refocus my internal lens
and soundly re-evaluate
me

Just A Little Bit

Can I please
be with you
for a small time
a short period
just a kiss, a hug
a relaxed exhale
an intimate, savored inhale
a delicate touch
down the back of your head
a taste, slight lick, at the base of your neck
just a nibble
of your pierced lobe
the broad feel
of your wide frame
it will only take
just a moment of your time
please
that's all i ask
maybe a forehead kiss
possibly a whispered moan
enough time
to press fit into
the hollow of your chest
one quick rub
across the muscled back
but then, that's it
that's all
i promise,
i promise...

The Wanted

Somehow you flipped it
and I went from being unaware
to wanting, longing
lusting and needing you
while you switched from
curious and intent to
casual and confident

Am I that easily read
so simply understood
so obvious in my naked desire
that you know, now, that
you can have me

I have no idea
why my body reacts to you
humiliating actually
how I try to return to the me before,
that was completely oblivious
unaware of you

but it is impossible
over time
you became all I could see
all my desire could focus on
the only indiscretion I would conceal
willingly

somehow, you flipped it
the wanted became the seeker
and curiosity has now
taken over me

Never Embarassed

You don't ever
have to be embarrassed
with me
never
my heart lies between your palms
my mind stimulated by every sensual whisper
the very nature of you
stirs me, moves me
mounts my mental and
clenches my internal

This lust, this passion
so pure and wondrous
just simply
overwhelming
elongated and stretched out
dragging over days, weeks and months
until you could
finally have me
leading to overanticipation and unfulfilled explosion
premature release,
disappointment spreading
tearing through us like
the neverending splintered crack along fine ice

but, no
it is not the end
i can wait for you, work with you
be who need me to be
show you exactly what you need to see

baby, look at me
and understand where I am at
and where I long to be
can't you see it?
will you meet me?
here
on the real, without inhibition
or judgement
relax and breath, close your eyes
just be with me
*Written by a.kai for, and property of, Poetic Prodigies-www.ghettosoul.com*

See Me

What do you see
when you look at me
that makes you smile like that
lean over and
give that extra tight hug
that deep throated moan
the supersly grin
the inadvertent firmness

I don't think you see me
you can't really
cause you seem to see
someone you find
attractive
sexy
alluring
enticing
and, how could that be me?

The way you look at me
is so flattering
and sincere
the wanting so raw and open
that I can't contain my own smile
surprise
wonder
amazement
that such emotion pours forth
when your eyes land
on me?

Truth is,
I wish I could see me
love me, find me pretty
see what you see
I wish I could see me
through your eyes...

My Muse

I finally figured it out
realized why I am
drawn to you
interested in you
thinking on you
wishing for you

Simply stated
you somehow became my muse
the purest energy
the rawest infatuation
guards still lowered
hopes still high
life has not yet marked you
maimed you
destroyed your dreams
robbed you of belief

With each shy glance
a waterfall of dreams
cascade before me
sprinkle and shower me
remembering when
the impossible was only a step away
an identifiable believable goal
changing the world wasn't scary or
unbelievable or
simply hopeless

I wish I had
known you then
could have dreamed with you
believed in me, and you
stretched out high and
grasped my stars
shined magnificent
discovered me brilliant

but time does not rewind
instead, you are my muse
reminding me of past innocence
and wondrous belief
inspiring me to plod on
grope and grasp
collect and rejoin
the shattered fragments
of my dreams, my life
your indestructible will
renewing my internal hunger
guiding me to faith's platform

Masculinesque

Turn down the dial
reel in some of that
masculinesque
that drips from you like
golden molasses
pouring from each gland
that I long to catch
with the
tip of my tongue

Your man flow
is like a
silent sonar
beeping loudly but soundlessly
floating unheard past the ears of
the inexperienced and
just beginning, but
burning up ripened eardrums
resonating with woman
like me
who have accepted
lusts private secrets
and desires intimate codes
able to decipher the
intangible meaning
of your direct glaze and
moist lips
returning fire with
ignited flame

But, you have to promise
to turn it down
or press mute
something to release me
from the sweet melody of
your rhythmic flow
vibing and intermingling
with the steady thrum
of my womanessence throb
cause right now
I cannot focus
your unique combination
is simply drowning out
all reason

Your Image

Your image
washes over me
stunning my senses
like ice
sliding slowly
down the ridge of my back
instantly alert
suddenly shocked
deathly afraid
at what I might do
might say
might slip up and admit
might mess around and murmur

Your scent sweeps through me
like the unsuspecting chill
that shivers the spine
shakes the torso
temporarily suspends
automatic reaction
realism
reality

Your image so
visceral and real
causing pure aching
longing
bashfully lustful
pulling me in
morphing my barriers
boundaries
limits
finding me
open

Manipulator

There is emotional manipulation
it exists, believe me

when initial good intentions
and lofty goals
are twisted and distorted
manipulated and abused
utilized to feed the ego
to cover inner holes
create some definition of worth
of love, relying on the
infinite value of being needed

I know the manipulator that you are
I see it, covered only slightly
by devils clear blue eyes
no doubt your intentions were initially sincere
but how often do you remind folks
of all you have done for them
dismissing the hours and energy
they themselves committed.

How often do you reflect guilt
or sadness
imposing unfair grief
making sure everyone knows,
and feels sorry for you
pointing out just how they have
failed to shield you
carry you
consider you
include you

Poor little you.

Your emotional hail storm
may go unrecognized among the young
among those that rely on you
need you to anchor the ship
on which magnificent dreams float

but me and mine
we remain wary
refuse to succumb
have decided to no longer participate
rather walk away and
continue this course alone

Hell, we made it this far
without you
no reason to
carry any more baggage
full of your emotional manipulation

The Mistake

With a wink
I knew it was on
I spotted your intent
understood the silent
meeting of the minds

You nodded, averted eyes
I followed looking at secret space
isolated and dark
away
oblivion unto itself
a place where we could
talk,discover, plot or scope

We planned and made arrangements
to meet again
to be together
for the first time
for the last time

As I arrived mind raced
what would this make me
what had I become
why had lust overtaken me

How could I overcome
the after silence
the aftershock
the unwanted guilt
the infinitely torn spirit

I don't know how long
you waited
because I quickly departed
made my exit
saved my peace of mine
reclaimed my sanity