Gotta Crush?

I gotta crush
is this a cruel joke?
some type of emotional rewind
got me feeling loopty like
a silly child
wondering what I am thinking
and how I can explain this thing
away
please go away

I gotta serious like-thing going on
a deep innate temptation
a singular calling
a definite response
to his mere look
or his blatant decision to approach
sudden distraction
got me
wondering how to fix
something I never broke
and how to correct
something I did not wrong

I gotta for real curiosity
a sudden itch
buried deep down in the
nether regions of my soul
my spirit
thought I had misread, didn't understand
was tripping, buggin or crackin
but, no
there was a connection
an unheard of familiar link
a raw magnetic draw
a sensual exploratory longing

I gotta crush
but this must be a
cruel, cruel joke