Depression

Filled with the inexplicable sadness
that flows from the spirit
when something is wrong
but you can't quite locate it
acknowledge it
figure out what is making you so
empty
void
black

Feeling unprotected and
unimportant
unworthy and
unattractive

Suddenly sad
so very sad
wanting to protect my family and
be what they need
but so sure i will fail
have failed
have dipped my finger into
the delectable vat of sin
and swirled
enjoyed its taste
marinated in its
luscious thickness
and now the resiude
forever stains me

I am feeling lost
but this time,
I know this trap
recognize this space
clawing desperately to
break free
from depressions neverending trap.