Tore It Up

I wrote you a love letter
from the deepest regions of my heart
My pen bled my hidden secrets
how much I've loved you
for so long

But I tore it up.

I wrote you a truth
a simple truth
and in the writing I discovered
that you have always been a part of me
that we have always had a safe space
a special boundary
but I have always wanted more

I never realized it
until I read
my own writing
and
accepting reality
I tore it up.

I tore it up
because we have never
come close
and I will never be bold enough
to tell the truth
brave enough
to say what I feel
no matter how you will respond
making me weak
spineless
and leaving me with
nothing more
than tiny shreds of paper

I wrote the truth
but I tore it up.