Simply Pathetic

I haven't thought about him
in the past 72 hours
realization hit me
when I opened my eyes
relief washed over me
cleansing me, momentarily
from my deepest personal fears

I do have some pride
after all
A little dignity
some self respect

Allowing me to shut down
cognizant brain filters
blocking thoughts about
someone who
barely knows me
and couldn't possibly be thinking
about me

Pathetic

Simply pathetic
triumph slowly ebbing into defeat
remembering that my eyes opened
when the subconscious
brought him to me anyway,
seeped past my mental blocks
invaded my sleep
and he was still the
first thing on my mind
this morning