Free Fall

My eight year old frame
tucked neatly in the front passenger seat
of the infamous Datsun.
Not much, but all her
teacher's salary and no child support
could afford
I rode quietly, eyes staring out of window
taking in urban sites and sounds
finding familiarity in chaos

An internal lurch, my heart stopped
eyes squinted, I leaned forward
pressed my face against the glass
it was him
bright skin over statuesque face
6'3" frame leaning easily against
the side of his car
chatting
I had to get to him, reach him
hadn't seen him in months
he wouldn't return my calls
had missed another birthday

"DADDY"

I screamed at the top of my lungs
trying to claw at the window
scrambling to release the seat belt
the window wouldn't roll down fast enough
tears pouring from my face
desperate cuz, he might never call again
might never come by again
what if I never
got to see him again

"whats wrong?" my mothers
panicked voice didn't register
as seat belt buckle
slammed against interior plastic
and I frantically tried to crank down that old window,
but
it was stuck, jammed
too hard to roll down
quickly

"Daddy"
I couldn't get to him
we would be too far soon
I had to get out, now
had to get to him, now
or I may never see him
again
my young hand snatched up the lock
pulled back door handle
I threw my body against opening door
as car came to a screeching halt
and my mother screamed at
the top of her lungs
while my young body began to
free fall
car stopped while
legs scraped asphalt

ignoring burning skin and
bleeding hands
I turned
in his direction
screaming
"Daddy"
he spotted me
ran over and
picked me up, a rare hug
a rare glint of concern
me in absolute utopia
while my mother sat frozen
hand over her heart