Hostage

She held me hostage
captive
two nights before
freedom
Trunks full and car packed
well wisher's presents
scattered about the house

She said no.
Simply no.

She would not take me
to college
did not care about my
new Home by the Sea
full tuition scholarship
be damned
I wasn't ready
she wasn't ready
and
I wasn't worthy anyway.

48 hours of tears
pleading and begging
her final choke hold
my last chance at salvation

finally, tears dried
I accepted my fate
I would never escape
would never enjoy that
long anticipated exhale

that's when he loaded my things
silently placed me in the car
and drove me away
from my captured cell

Temorarily Release

You represent freedom
an opening, a crack
the slight sliver in this plaster
a tiny hole in this foundation

I need to slide through
bend my body to
conform to your opening and
push in, bow down
fit within the seams
as best I can

It is my one opportunity for escape
Release
Sanity
Breathe

So I cling to you
grasp onto your moving form
clench to this one opportunity
the slight chance to
escape
exhale
submit
if only temporarily

Escape

The possibility of escape
freedom and release
so tantalizing and
exciting

inciting planning and scheming
just short of lying
to create the scenario
script the circumstance

I can do this and
they don't have to know

Intimate thoughts hush, but
loudly thumping in the
hollow of my ear
increasing pressure
mounting heartbeat pounding
against ribbed cage

I can do this

I can create this space
free from responsibility
removed from obligation
vacuum tunnelled and silent
roaring and shouting

just for a little while
just for a little bit
a small, tiny
muy pequeño
space
just for me