Needing

Melting, your heat
softens me
weakens me
pliable, I become too flexible
so amenable
to anything you want
anything you need
anything I can be
for you

So, vulnerable
lost in the maze of
your passion
lighting at the
tip of your tongue
following a trail of steam
to the center core
of me

Your lips
ignite memories and
future wishes
knowing where I hope they
touch
linger
press
kiss

Insatiable, molding into
the turn of you
the still of you
your low hips
pressing perfectly
reminding me
trying me
pushing me into
frenzied longing and
stuttered whispers

I am weak and
needing the
simple sweet melody
of you

Crush

Is it
simply a crush
a misunderstood rhythm
an erratic soul beat
is that what we feel
when eyes interlock
just a thrumming
misunderstanding
a thickening concoction of
innocent admiration
rolled into one

Is that what this is
an overstated crush?

Love Hard

Got to
love you hard
like tomorrow isn't promised
and yesterday will
surely fade

Got to remember
to be thankful
you are here
every night
you're still here
where you have been
year after year after year

Got to
love you hard
for being true to your word
being real with yourself
being nourishment
to my soul

So blessed
to have you
SO lucky
to know you
So rare, to have
someone like you
in my sphere
in my life
in my soul
binded to you
for an eternity

Got to
love you hard
fresh, clean
pure
heavy
serenly
freely
letting you
spread your wings
because you have
always come back
always landed
right here
within me

Got to love you hard
during this finite life
making sure each utterance
and every act
lets you know
I am completely smitten
so absolutey
in love

Call to Me

Call to me
you
resonate with an internal chord
pulling
magetized and suctioned

I am helpless
hopeless
hearing my name
with no sound
my essence responds
triggered
aware of
uniquely you

Call to me
you
demanding and
irresistable I answer each and every
plea
request
fulfillment,
your pleasure
my only goal

Call to me

Making Love

I love
to make love
by the rays
of the sun
where your masculinesque is
on display
with all its perfections and
all its flaws

Love the feel of the day
when lovemaking is
timeless
neverending
open and free
crisp and refreshing
as perfect
as warm
as genuine as a summer day

Love
making love
to you
without pretense
no candlelight silhouettes
or dark shadows
no covers
no place to hide

Just loving
each and every bit
of each other
open and without shame
in the magnificent brilliance
of the wonderful sun

MAd At Me

Trying to forgive me
for letting me
gain weight
lose control
fail to care

Now its difficult to
reinvent and regenerate
reclaim the sexier shell
within which
protection and comfort came with ease

But now the fat
has me exposed
reveals my weakness
my loss of control

I am mad
at me
for hiding behind the cloak of flesh
covering me in older women's unwanted weight
and for letting the lovely me
go

Your Name

Your name
resonates within the quiet pond
secluded emotion, like a small echo
bounces, growing
magnifies, blossoming
erupts
so much passionate wonder
the memory released
just by the mention
of your name

Your Flame Never Burns

Your fire
doesn't burn me
have you noticed?
It nips at me
flashes of heat
fan over me
I relax and enjoy
your flames, they
circle around me
the perfect elongated leaf,
burning white at its core
blue at its edges
red as its lips
stretch out for me
engulf me
manifest in me
a smoldering lust

Your Fire
never burns me
haven't you wondered why?
because its flames
simply merge with mine
its heat simple melts into
the roar of my furnace
its core is nothing more
than the twin within my pilot

That's why you feel it
when your flame touches mine
that's why you jump and
I flinch
but we both hold still
enjoying the flames
allowing our unique heat
our inextinguishable fire
to become one

Defeated, Finally

Simply defeated
finally
the fight is gone
emptiness remains

the joke
has been on me
real love eludes me
or runs from me
either way
it has proven itself scarce
and my belief in it
useless

It took
three people-
the abandoner
the hater, and
the neglecter
but they have finally won
and I
finally
surrender

Less Faith

It was more than an urge
that compelled
my small frame forward

the pastor beckoned
in his robes, pomp and circumstance
calling the lost to
come to the Lamb
but my ears heard a different Voice
the comforting Voice
that protected me when
my mother went on a rampage
or my father stared into the fire
for months
at a time

the Voice that
assured me it was alright
promised I would make it through
whispered that the nightmares
would end
eventually
if I just
held on

Didn't everyone have one?
there own small Voice
the constant unseen Comforter

so when It said
to step forward,
proclaim my love, and
declare my God
I moved without hesitation
ambling pleasantly down the aisle
obediently doing what I knew
would please
my Lord

I wish
I still had that simplicity
still knew when and how to listen
desperately want to hear Him on
such a regular basis

Wish that I
didn't have to strain, to plead
to beg for His guidance

I wonder at the courage
of the six year old me
who had the faith of giants
with a life so short
knowledge so lacking
experiences so few
yet, my spiritual core was
so much more developed
refined
exquisitely in tune

than it is now

God, please grant me the Faith
of the six year old me

The Mirror

The mirror
told of your pain
spoke of my confusion
whispered volumes of confessions
thundered words of truth
reflected us beautiful
proved us scarred
showed us raw
exposed us vulnerable

Understand

When you avoid me
I understand
sympathize
wish that I too could be free
that this longing didn't invade
overwhelm
complicate what should be
so easy

When I avoid you
you watch me, follow me
mark my desperate efforts
to leave you be
to allow you choice
space to navigate
to avoid me
and the tangled web of
my life

When you avoid me
I understand,
but still
find me sad

Cook For U

This energy
seems to be spreading
invading
overpowering and controlling

seeping
from you

to me

and I
I
I think I wanna
cook for you
create for you
demonstrate the inner god
that you so gingerly inspire
so delicately
enliven

I need to demonstrate
how our union
creates fantastical reality
making barriers evaporate into
translucent visions that I
step through with ease

Reaching for you
focused on you

that deepseeded urge to try
becomes a pounding demand to
tackle and complete
to step foward
without fear
to wrap my hands around nothing
and manifest
everything

May I
cook for you
dance for you
lay back and perform my
ritual just for you
can I write to you
or
sing to you
play a simple melody
reflecting my vibe for you
or should I
center my energies
here, and
simply be
for you
for you
for you

I need to breathe
for you

He Was Magnifiscent

Trying to be clever
I desperately stumbled
all over myself,
stuttering out my
preplanned line
the one sure to seduce
tumbling off my lips
like awkward boulders and shame burning my neck as
the words bounced around in that
awkward silence
like bricks tossed against rubber

Embarrassment
shrouded around the
once clear air
making breath
impossible
sensuality a misnomer
and seduction a
never ending joke

That's what he did to me
ya'll
by a mere glance
a shy smile
a patient pregnant pause
he had me
stuttering foolish words
stammering silly innuendos
suffering heat flashes and
cold phases
body tingles
by simply swimming in
the pool of his eyes
wishing I could
maintain some composure
as I gazed upon
magnificence's reflection

I Wish

I wish
I knew how to touch you
what to say
what to reveal

I wish
I could bottle up my emotion
and pour it into your
cupped hands
let you feel it
spread gently across your fingertips
until your cup runnteh over

I wish
I had you
in another time and
another place
and I could show you
how we could be

I think about it often
oh, how I wish...

Felt You

I felt you
before I saw you
and the feeling was sooooo
real
that it shocked me
then shamed me
because
out of sight, out of mind
was the solution I had been praying for
hoping for
waiting for

Yet, I felt you
before I saw you
proving distance, space, time and absence
created absolutely no interruption at all
my heart
still drummed heavily
my breathing
still quickened rapidly
my body still tried to push forward
responding
while my mind desperately fought to
hold me back

confusion, once again
blinding my spirit and
binding my tongue
tailspinning my control
into a tornado
of fragmented lust

you see,
the fact remains
that I still felt you
before I saw you

The Future

Your purpose
was the beacon to my life
for so long
the mantle was placed on you
the crown befitting your head
the honor stitched carefully
into your spirit

It was you

the reason I was formed
the momentum of my life
the curvature of your father's growth
the experiences of his enriched youth

It was all for you
and the next ones
Our children
Our seed
Our future generation

We understand the principles
know that sins of the father
fall on the heads of the son
that wickedness in the present
manifests into
death in our future

So we have lived clean
have stepped carefully
have let go and released
desires
dreams
unrealized potentials
to bring you to this point

Our lives
were designed
for the maturation
of you

Generations back
generations forward
the belief of tomorrow
the promise of today

It was always
for you

Everything

He told me
that I would forget him
my life would mean something
and what we shared had to
fade away

He told me
that I was amazing and talented
special
because I saw the good in him
whispered love in his ear
muttered hope into his dreams

He told me
that our time together
would mean eveything to him
and
nothing to me
in the future
in the distant oasis of
unlimited possibilities and
unconquered dreams waiting
waiting
at least for me

But he was wrong
underestimating his own power
his affirming intimacies
became the glue to my essence
the sensual piece to my puzzle
despite words and space
years and time
and his sullen prediction
he is still
my everything

Soul Cry

The lover
of my soul
you are

my heart's reason
for throbbing
you know me
well
so well

so you must know I love you
without it
ever being said

your silence
making my mind
ache
and my
essence cry

You are
the lover of my soul
the healer of my heart
and you know
that I love you
without it
ever needing
to be said

I miss you

Reliance

I turned to him for comfort
I received coldness
I turned to him for love
I received judgement
I turned to him for clarity
I received disdain
I turned to him for salvation
I received emptiness

I turned to her for acceptance
she called me ugly
I looked to her for advice
she called me fool
I called on her for support
she called me failure
I reached for her acknowledgement
she named me pathetic

I waited for something whole
but my soul was tattered and torn
I waited for an exit
but met a constant dead end
I waited for a break
and instead fell down life's merciless pit