Good Enough

What if
I'm not good enough
Not real enough
not found worthy enough
nor intellectual enough

What if the
vulnerability
deep within me
is split open and dug out
spread out and
examined
and determined
to be lacking
overrated and
disappointing

What if
I simply don't have it
despite all my energies
all my dreams
this deep seeded desire
this love of the written word

What if the gift
is only a light dusting of talent
a mere sprinkling of ingenius
what would I be then
could I swallow the
aching loss
the fractured belief
my splintered essence

Tell me
what if?