Remain Quiet

Remain Quiet
afraid to say
i love you
afraid it might be
too little, too late
I have doubted it
every time it passed your lips
frowned my face wondering how
wondering why
why would you
or anyone else
love me

But I am ready
ready to believe me loveable
ready to believe me worthy
ready to try to bestow upon you
an emotion
I barely have for me

can I love you
if I don't know how to love me?
I want to try
I want to say it
I want to utter those three words
that seems so easy
but feel like stones passing through
myvocal chords
I love you but, dammit, I just can't say it
i can't force it

maybe one day you will realize but,
then again,
maybe you won't
either way
I just remain quiet.

*repost

No Comparison

He dismisses
while you study and watch
focus in from afar and
notice my secret emotion
observe bubbling well overflowing
longing to lap up the sweet water
knowing only you can
keep my well from running dry

He ignores
while you tap in
creating conversation
light and easy butdeep and thick
underlying want and tension
raising the small hairs on the
nape of my neck
your intention
laid out and clearly spelled
your eyes promising joys unmentionable
and adventures unforetold

He takes for granted
while you raise up high
glorifying and praising clear
womanhood
identifying lushful bloom and
buzzing near like
bee sipping nectar
storing and protecting
fiercely and selfishly
guarding natures sweetest honey

He wallows in self pity
while you find future in
the curve of my hip
the swell of my breasts
the sway of my lower back
the ridge of my inner thigh
present, no time for
lost hopes or dreams
you achieved and attained it all
leaving blame at the door
funneling time and energy and
desire for manifestation
into a clearly and highly wanted
perfect solution

(*repost)

Push

If I push
will you return
will you come back
from that dead space of
insecurity
apathy
confusion?

If I push
can I have you back
will you remember
will you transform
will you recall
when my arms
gave you comfort
my mind
gave you love
my soul
gave you home

If I push
I know you will run
further hide
burrow deeper
shielding from feeling
so pain can't destroy you

But I must push
force myself to you
propel myself forward in love
cocoon within the magic
of us

i must push