Damn Me

how does one
purge the mind
spit out the mistake
regurgitate the garbage
douche away the disgusting residue

why is there no
clear cut way
of mental flushing
no membrane dialysis
no spiritual antiseptic
or memory diuretic

if i could i would
throw you up
shit you out
pass you throw
gurgle you up and
spit you away

if i could i would
scrub away
any layer you touched
any space that took in your sight
any membrane that absorbed your sound
or fell victim to your lying touch

I would discard every aspect of me
that was contaminated by you
surely the cleaner pieces are worth more
than the sum total of me, contaminated by you
but I can't figure out how
to cleanse me
to disinfect me
to decontaminate me
without
destroying me

I can't figure out how
to save me,
but damn me
for exposing my all
to you