Let Me Sit

I want to sit there
no not on the couch
right there
in the space reserved
just for me
with room enough
just for me

Move your coat
let me sit there
yes, right there
are you afraid
does the idea of my warmth
make you uncomfortable
frightened
will you react
will masculinity spring eternal or
will you downplay my pressure
and maintain your cool

Yep, I am sure
that space is ideal for me
perfect for me
resting lightly upon you
thighs parted
knees press fitted against your hips
torso resting gently against yours
facing you I can
steal a kiss
share an intimate whisper
let you know
just what I had in mind
just what I have in store

I am not scared and
no I am not shy
I can show you
don't mind proving it
If you let me sit there
right there...

Center My Core

Trying to still the doubt
the whispered untruths and
jealous lies
the constant doubt and
unspoken disbelief

I need to silence it

Trying to center my core
focus on ocean waves and
splashing banks
open air breezes and
stirring internal winds

Got to find my equilibrium
my peace
my calm
inside the midst of this storm
wrap my self in the
silence
at the core of
each tornado
Cover myself in
love's plastic
self esteem's umbrella

so each drop of hate
rolls down and off
remains separate
like oil in water
does not mesh with
the purity of my spirit
does not soil
the cleanness of my essence

Trying to center my core
silence the deafening hum
that envy makes
determined to
keep my eye on the prize
my mind on the goal
my heart on its true love
my destiny on its proper path
my life in its correct track
my future on its supernaturally blessed journey

No Love

He doesn't love me
not really
not like a woman needs to be loved
longs to be loved

a little recognition
a gentle touch
an adoring smile
a kind word
a sincere compliment

they never float naturally my way
rather, they must be asked for
begged for
leaving the response stale
stagnant and disingenuous

for years I thought I
wasn't worth more
was lucky for the love I received
any little drop
any small morsel

but as self awareness expands
need for love stretches wide
need for assurance gaps like a wound
need for support leaves body aching

he refuses to read my writing
refuses to bask in new woman
refuses to discover me new, sexy, redefined
he doesn't love me
not really
not like I need to be loved

Gotta Crush?

I gotta crush
is this a cruel joke?
some type of emotional rewind
got me feeling loopty like
a silly child
wondering what I am thinking
and how I can explain this thing
away
please go away

I gotta serious like-thing going on
a deep innate temptation
a singular calling
a definite response
to his mere look
or his blatant decision to approach
sudden distraction
got me
wondering how to fix
something I never broke
and how to correct
something I did not wrong

I gotta for real curiosity
a sudden itch
buried deep down in the
nether regions of my soul
my spirit
thought I had misread, didn't understand
was tripping, buggin or crackin
but, no
there was a connection
an unheard of familiar link
a raw magnetic draw
a sensual exploratory longing

I gotta crush
but this must be a
cruel, cruel joke

Remember Tonite

Got to remember
tonite
this night
when I didn't pretend or ignore but
acknowledged that I feel you
every time you look at me and
I know you are aware
of every place in time that I be

Want to remember
tonite
this night
the first time I met eyes with you and
without realizing it
immediately smiled
immediately had your full attention
a vacuum space, a narrow tunnel
consisting of
only you and me
all others
locked out and suddenly invisible

Want to remember
tonite
this night
when I whispered muted longings
and you smiled understanding
capturing my tongue and
stilling my heart
common ground accented and
mutual respect magnified

I hope I remember
tonite
this night
when spiritual similarities
mattered more than
temporal things
your eyes made my body burn
while you
looked at me on fire and
we spoke volumes
without saying a single word

You Have Heart

They thought you would quit
if they withheld the prize
benched you
put your pride on the line
and upped the pressure

They thought you would walk away
give up the dream
deny that deep down you loved it
always wanted it
knew you could do it but
would refuse to walk the path less travelled

They didn't know
you have heart.

There are other reasons, justifications
for riding that oak
new friendships formed
other relationships tested, jealousies revealed
different character traits built
different leadership skills acquired
you know you have the talent
the athleticism
possess what it takes
but you observed a different hunger
a pure decision to carry a team
striving to win in the face of no hope
striving to succeed when everyone else had quit
and it affected you
touched you
taught you

They made you polish that pine
Others ambitions
tried to determine your path
use you for what would best benefit them
unfairly denying you
a true chance, a real opportunity
the fix was in over a year ago
when one jersey short
meant you were the one man out
and parent's political connections
were not strong enough
to make a difference

but, what they didn't know
is that you have heart
are better for the experience
have benefited, despite it all

Your spirit of perseverance.
What they can't destroy.
You have heart.

Women at 32?

Men at 18
Women at 32?
17 year old me
laughed when she said it
a teen learning about sexual peaks
maturity and desire
disbelief that my current emotion
heart stops and sensual flip flops
could be less than optimum or
not as strong as the
desire of the curious boys I flirted with
but ran from
wanted to give in to,
but maintained good girl vibe

Women peak at 32?
Impossible
until 31 stretched before me and
new petals began to sprout
unforeseen buds started to bloom
opening, expanding
a deeper sensual desire
an exaggerated stunning lust
by 32, mind began to wonder
to expand, to try
new possibilities, opportunities

My own body
no longer a mystery,
fully explored
fully aware
fully in tune with it's insatiable
wants and needs
experiencing the previously unthinkable
mastering the previously unimaginable

Discovering that it is true
Women peak somewhere around 32
an unbelievable phenomenum
a dynamic ecstasy
if you aren't afraid
aren't scared of your body's mysteries, and
refuse to run
from your own secret treasures

A Million Times

Yes. In my mind
I've kissed you
a million times
a million ways
holding your face
lightly between my hands
gingerly lavishing you
in the pureness of
sincere longing
I've done it
in my mind

Of course. In my mind
I've held you
a million times
a million ways
caressing away
concerns and fears
refitting and reforming me
into the
confidant and lover
you need me to be
I've done it
in my mind

Certainly. In my mind
I've made love to you
a million times
a million ways
allowing my heart to absorb
your pure energy
your fantastic power
swelling and exploding
the sensual essence into
a million fragments
a million beams
washing over us
sprinkling and tickling us
shining us golden
leaving us pure
making love again
a million times
a million ways

What It Do

Why are you pressin up?
grinnin and winkin
knowin I can't fight it
can't help but respond
see my dimples press in while
my lips form into
a sincere smile, chin down
eyes squinted, trying to fight
the automatic response
at the sight of you

I know why your pressin up
figured out what's on your mind
you want to know
want to see
what it do
huh?

Hmmm.
You aren't ready for me
you know it, simply
playin with fire
toyin with teargas
teasin a wild tigress

but, i got to admit, its your boldness
that keeps my attention
watching you man up and
struggle through
refusing to be
played by the game or
intimidated by the obvious

Movin you quickly up my
ladder of respect
you may never know
what it do
but that you crossed my mind
at all
is a huge honor
unto itself

What Happens Next?

What happens after
I slice through the center of me
expose my very core
my thoughts and fears
my desires and wants
my intimate platform
flipped inside out
and laid upside down

What happens next?

Is it too much
too much information to swallow
confusing your idea of woman
of mother
of wife
of professional
of person

I am me
no more, no less
not that I even know
what that really means
but I know that my future
could never have been foretold
from my troubled beginnings
and every day
a thought or inspiration
touches me and
I have an overwhelming urge to
put it to paper
some, I am bold enough to share
others, you will never see

but in the end
when just one person says
that my poem or expression
was the perfect written counterpart
to their emotion, observation, experience
then I know
I have finally found my path...

Despite Our Faults

Despite your faults
I see you
dream of you
believe in you
trust deeply in you
pray for you
truly adore you
am in awe of you

Despite my faults
I try to love truly
deeply
sincerely
openly
honestly
patiently
willingly

Despite our faults
I believe in the perfection of us
the purity of us
the roadmap of us
the uniqueness of us
the truth of us
the morality of us
the fortitude of us
the blessing of us
the seed of us
the future of us

Despite all our faults...

Believe in Love

Do you believe in love
in it's raw purity
it's perfect essence
so sincere
so true
available only to those
who close their eyes
and allow their soul to search
for the perfect goodness
within self
within another

Do you believe?

Is it possible
to find real love?
unconditional and patient
understanding and limitless
acceptance wrapped in
peaceful unity

Do you believe?

I have experienced it
felt it
the pure power of love
a surge of energy
so unique and luminescent
that my soul traversed
desert lands
on waves of waterfalls
crossed artic circles blanketed in
warm and humid clouds
withstood volcanic eruption
in the midst of a cool diamond case

There is love
if only for a brief second
each click of the clock
another eternity
another chance
to experience a glimpse of
divine wonder

No matter what
please please try
to believe in love...

Friendship's Borders

There is danger
in friendship
man and woman
friendship
without regulation
without careful monitoring
self and outside
an inherent danger
a natural disaster

We didn't figure that out
until it was almost
too late
confiding in each other
the most intimate
sharing stories of love
and lovemaking
discussing the hunt
revealing ideas, plans
suggestions to try
to reel them in

Somewhere in the conversation
we crossed the line
tiptoed across the border
you revealing what drives you insane
me whispering what ideas have yet to be tried
Then silence
while we considered
thought about
this corner we had back ourselves in

Shouldn't it have been obvious
that we were sharing too much
shouldn't we have noticed
that the borders were becoming blurred
curiosity was taking control
and mischievous desire would soon
dominate us both
You put it out there
stated the obvious that lingered in the air
just one day and one night
friends sharing friendship
in all its form

I thought on it
seriously considered it
but, fighting myself,
I had to decline
because how could friendship
ever be the same
how could passion not
burn wildly like a spark on a thin fuse
quickly consuming and destroying
leaving us charred and burned
and our friendship
nothing more than ruined ashes

Have To Stop This

That's it. Enough.
I can no longer indulge myself
with thoughts of you
careless what-ifs and
hopeful maybes
No More.
I have to seal this leak
plug this drain
stopper the stream of ideas
sensual thoughts
lustful longings
spring boarding from the deep well
of my mind

Stop It. Gotto Control It.
Suddenly, completely distracted
work unfinished and
assignments left lingering
cause I had to pause to
remember a look
a smile
a surprising rush
unexpected soul tug
deep innate recognition

That's It. I'm Done.
I'm releasing and letting go
refitting into my proper image
of mother
of wife
returning, sadly, to matronly form
it's the only proper solution
the only clear direction
the only pathway that
won't lead to discovery's pain
this is the final period
to a never ending sentence
in this run on paragraph.

That's It. I Know It.
I have to stop this
but really,
I don't know that I can

Can I?

Can I
seduce you
with my mind
describe miles of possibilities and
unlimited realms of creativity
that we can excavate
deeply explore

Can I
show you what I am thinking
dreaming, feeling
desiring
without striking fear or caution
setting off your internal alarm
fear of where my revelations
may go, may take you
past your point of control
past your ability to
maintain cool, calm
withhold

Can I
lure you into
my inner sanctum, secret space
past the hazy vapors and
uninhibited layers
creations realization and
sensuality's essence
giving you a place to relax
stretch out, lay down
free your mind
deeply sigh
release life's tense
expectations and anxieties

Can I
use written word to
caress your body and
massage your mind
spoken word to
stimulate your sense and
create vibration's sensations
across your beautiful sphere
silence to convey
my deepest want
my far most desire
the longing that calls your name
without a word uttered

Can I?

Figure Me Out

Despite hidden shyness
I wanted him
needed to know whether
I could have him
take him
make him mine

The constant flirting
driving me insane
my lack of nerve
inflating self anger
I had to pull it together, try it
rise to the challenge
see what would happen
determine where I really fit
in this game of girl and boy

Opportunity arose when
she and I stood side by side
inadvertently
"what you want?" he asked
pointing at the snack line
"a pretzel, I think" she muttered
"you" I said clearly
unblinking and unapologetic

He laughed, I smiled
but I wasn't playing.

She sputtered and reeled back
but knew that a physical challenge was
out of the question
the street in me
haven been proven many times before

"For real?"
the follow through so easy, came with a smile, a nod
he was down, ready for whatever
eyebrows raised, impressed at my boldness

"For real."
the answer slid easily
through my mouth
my own words
surprising me, inflating me
i took his hand and
never looked back

To this day
he remembers
the days, weeks, months
we spent together
lost in each other, learning each other

Then it ended
I forgot, while he told others
repeated the story
didn't realize I mattered to him until
folks I didn't know, knew me
approached me
cause I was his girl
cause I changed his world
his viewpoint on love
relationship
girlfriends

But me, I kept it all to myself
discovered something about me
about the woman in me
about the power in womanhood
its strength, and its selfish disregard
its delightfulness and its unsuspecting danger
I actually tossed away a friend
to get a taste of a man

Teenage discovery breeding adult regret
Men, I can kinda understand
but me, well
I'm still trying to figure me out

Pleasure Spots

back of the wrist
a light kiss, a soft taste
nape of the neck
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

side of the hip
a light kiss, a soft taste
bend of the elbow
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

curve of the cheekbone
a light kiss, a soft taste
rise of the thigh
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

hollow of the chest
a light kiss, a soft taste
curve of the stomach
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

palm of the hand
a light kiss, a soft taste
the back of the knee
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

If I Kiss You

If I kiss you
will you tell
spread the word and
inform the hemisphere
destroying a second opportunity
or another chance
ruining what could have been

Or will maturity
seal your lips and
keep you waiting, wanting
knowing more is in store
once you pass this
trying test

If I kiss you
will you stand still
allow me to
trace your lips
fill them in
touch and caress them
while hands rest
along your chest
tasting you and
enjoying the deepest intimacy
fulfilling every form
of a true kiss

If I kiss you
can you stand it
withstand it
contain yourself while
heartbeat quickens and
pressure rises
tingles began to spread
through the roof of your moth
along your spine
travel down your thighs
invading your entire body
until the slightest touch
resonates like electric shock

Yep. All that from a kiss
I promise
If I kiss you...

Pure

I see it in your eyes
a blue flame, clear
burning intense and true
white tips barely flicker
unmoved
pure

Like a lit pilot
your intimate essence
is that clear blue flame
That draws me in, fascinated
amazed
watching the closest thing to perfection
demonstrated in
the perfect still burn
no white smoke or red spark
tempered evenness
pure

I don't get to see it often
You refuse to let me look into your eyes
but when you finally relent
I can tell
it is constant
no flicker
I am transfixed
by the glimpse of it
making my heart race and
my breath shallow
your blue flame
the wonderful miracle of you

so perfect
pure

Too Careless

Too careless
with those things
you are supposed to hold dear
discarding the most important
leaving it exposed, unprotected
ultimately unwanted

Because new thing
attracted your eye and
you walked away
leaving everything else
abruptly, surprisingly
unexpectedly

So careless
unconcerned
valuable things left laying out
disappearing without a second glance


So you can't be surprised
when the most precious
reclaims herself, refuses to allow your
detachment to create her decay

Withholding desire poured forth
hers, not yours, to discard
protect
love, no longer in your possession
she is cherishing herself
and remembering her worth
her fundamental right to be relished
appreciated and admired
to be attached to someone who won't
so easily let go
so simply walk away
so careless

Man Up

Let a tear fall
spill
tumble slowly down
Don't restrain it
just let it go
followed by a loose flow
breathe, while the others escape
stumbling down the ridge
of your fine cheekbone
resting on the firmness
of your perfect chin

It's real
the representation of emotion
of pain
actuality stunning the mind and
jogging the sense

And you've cried before
maybe not over a women
and certainly not over me
but, you need to know
that this is how it feels
what you have made others do
while your selfish desires were carried out

No. I am not cruel
Could not normally stand the sight
of a man crying for me
without my own tears
forming, joining
covering me and
I end up apologizing
for nothing, game flipped and
my sorries laid out
for pointing out your wrongs
and causing you to face your inequities

Not today
when you scoffed and laughed
bragged about the
emotional torment
you have caused so many
in the name of conquering and
winning, sexing and discarding
I set my heart to steel and
decided to let you feel the pain
sit through the burn
grind out the intense anguish
of emotions rejected and
heart ripped to shreds

Man up.
Let those tears spill.

No Man's Land

No man's land
where my mind keeps wanting to go
but my body is unable to follow
unwilling to step into the
social mind field
political whirlwind
societal destruction sure to follow
if one word of us
were ever to escape
to leak
to seep into the
mental hemisphere
spread into the realism of the situation
and soil anything that might have seemed
innocent and pure
for the sake of curiosity

No one is looking for love
or even companionship
but simple experience
a shared union and intertwined minutes
turned into hours where
mental musings abound and
sensual expressions overflow
the art of intimacy is shared
carefully taught
techniques conveyed and
lusts insatiable pull
silenced and satisfied

a mindfield

the lessons would involve
too many novelties
too much creativity
how could it end neatly, cleanly
without feelings being involved, hurt,
twisted and maimed
convoluted and poisoned
the beauty and simplicity
lost in the subsequent emotion
confusion
desire
of it all

Sparked

Sparked
ignited, this fuse is
lit and burning, blazing
startling

trailing a path
up my spine
down my heart
across the small of my back
along the nape of my neck

Hot and bothered
trying to maintain
cool and calm
while passion erupts
boils over
broils and bakes
bubbles and lifts
erupts
pouring and
running slowing down the insides
trickling like
melted wax dripping slowly
solidifying but
melting again and
molding to the unique, identifiable
thick and masculine
form
of you

Never Knew

I never knew
your eyes were so beautiful
so round
so brown
so expressive
so clear
I just never knew

I never paid attention
never clued in
looked all over and around
up and down
but not at the windows to your soul
never daring to glance at the
clear pane to your essence

Beautiful
your eyes are stunning
intense and focused
pure and wide
secret intent hidden but revealed
secret desire exposed but covered up
and I never noticed before
cause I never actually looked
deep into
your eyes

What did you feel
when I finally did it
finally lowered chin, paused
hesitated and decided to
really look
really examine
really take the time to see
you
your eyes
your beauty

My Fault

Got to be fair
it just might be my fault
did I
release want and desire
into the air like
opening the vacuum suctioned lid
unable to contain
fresh scent wonderful aroma as
it carries through airwaves
wafting and sifting
luring those tuned in
keen enough to get a whiff
to come take a sample bite
a luscious lick, a tiny taste


Got to be fair
maybe the sudden urging
you felt
was the mere overflow from
new found woman lust
bubbling and peculating
springing up and spilling over
running loosely down and spilling all around
spreading quickly, sprinkling lightly
impossible to contain
saturating you and your mind
with new thoughts and challenges
sudden urges that compelled
attracting you and overtaking your
common sense

Got to be fair
maybe I made the first move
covert and instinctual
bringing us to this place
this spot
wondering how we got here
and what we should do next....

Between His Arms

Warm comforting space
longing and inviting
tucked between well defined shoulders
centered around broad masculine neck
the crook at the center of the breastplate
a perfect resting place
for the slight touch
or the palm of my hand

between his arms

I want to fold in
press firmly against
snuggle deep within, see my
lowered lids and content expression
eyes rolling back after the
deep inhale submerging me in
luxurious scent

Notice his shoulders curved to
cocoon me and surround me
temporarily protect and shield me
hiding me from sight while
he takes in every inch of me
mind acquiescing and
shutting out the world
clinging gently to the
swell and curve of your
back and each
ripple and muscle in between
momentary peace
fulfilled want

between his arms

Purple

Purple

deep raw mahogany
majestic and brilliant
speaking of awe inspiring beauty
pure magnifiscence
wrapped in caramel
blended slowly
every turn folding
luxuriousness into
whipped sexy
gorgeous maleness
kingdom inheriting and
heir to the throne
distinguishment
donning gold
pure spun, indicating
royalty and infinite wisdom
a mind numbing
satsfying

purple

purple

No Comparison

He dismisses
while you study and watch
focus in from afar and
notice my secret emotion
observe bubbling well overflowing
longing to lap up the sweet water
knowing only you can
keep my well from running dry

He ignores
while you tap in
creating conversation
light and easy but
deep and thick
underlying want and tension
raising the small hairs on the
nape of my neck
your intention
laid out and clearly spelled
your eyes promising joys unmentionable
and adventures unforetold

He takes for granted
while you raise up high
glorifying and praising clear
womanhood
identifying lushful bloom and
buzzing near like
bee sipping nectar
storing and protecting
fiercely and selfishly
guarding natures sweetest honey

He wallows in self pity
while you find future in
the curve of my hip
the swell of my breasts
the sway of my lower back
the ridge of my inner thigh
present, no time for
lost hopes or dreams
you achieved and attained it all
leaving blame at the door
funneling time and energy and
desire for
manifestation
into a clearly and highly wanted
perfect solution

I Can Show You

Are you sure you want to learn?
positive you are ready to be taught?

Mine is a different type of love
a sweeter form of intimacy
searching the crevices of your spirit and
examining every inch of your being
listening to each muscle moan and
learning every reflexive response

We can take our time
listen to the rhythm of each heart
can you feel how mine races
just because your eyes have rested on me
have taken the time to really see me
reflect back a beauty
that I have never actually attained
mirror a genuine admiration
at which I sigh and shake my head
causing me to want to love you
to give you the best that I have
the most intimate me that I can offer

Or we can lose ourselves in the passion
let go and allow the thunder to roll
the sound to fill every orifice and
create its own vibe, its own stimulation
cause a tantric river to run
within us, flow throughout us
rising with each gentle lap against
this love's private banks and
fall with the smooth tide slowly retreating
by the natural pull of the moon

Magnetic
I can show you
teach you how to
tap into the atmosphere
the earthly natural wonder
that is created in you
expand your sensual mind
pique your every sense
until we both fade away
into brilliance's magnifiscence
holding holds and
deeply intertwined
a unique solo breath
a rare encounter

but I can show you
If you are ready to be taught...

Rejection of Me

This dance is tiring
momentarily exhilarating
infinitely draining

How can you keep rejecting me?
how can you keep being
the only one who sees
nothing special in me
nothing amazing, nothing pure
nothing worth grasping onto
holding close
clinging to instinctively and
protecting without clarification
taking the chance of being
dead ass wrong
for the opportunity
of shielding me just right

The shadows are filled with
so many who see
who wait in the wings
wondering when I will wake up or
be left, once again
blamed for all the wrongs in the world and
remembered with every painful recollection
making the second time the easiest time
to put an end to the painful game
the dreadful dance
the inherent rejection of me and
everything that I am
again and again and again

A Man

A man
although I hadn't noticed it before
therefore incorrectly assumed
newness
believed curiosity or
inadvertent revelation had the
cat's tongue tied but
maternal nudging would
relax the situation
remove stiff air and
allow breathe to be absorbed

Instead the abbreviated ouput
garned sincere input
locked on, determined manifestation
through chin, strongly set and
competitive resolve, unflinching and unblinking
pouring forth proof and
determining one truth

you ain't scared

innocent curiosity be damned
newness been passed, faded away while
experience intertwined with
nature's unique bestowments
created a different type of creature
unfazed and uneasily read
shield in place and
barriers around every angle
unless clear intent to
disseminate message
sent easy and open, therefore
no confusion and no fear
turning tables and making certain another revelation

while everyone was looking
but no one was watching
there was formed
a man

The Call

I made the call
today
couldn't help it
couldn't hide from it
tried to run within myself
reign in the curiosity and
disguise the blatant intrigue
I couldn't
shouldn't
musn't
but certainly did

I made the call
heard the smile, again
heard the pause, the relaxed breathe
the instant connection
acknowledgment
importance, remembrance
inquisitive about
where I be and
what I do
why I am and
how long I will
hinting at situation complication but
willingness to forge forward
press through
burrow under and
hide within

carving out specialness
a hidden concave of
pleasure and safety
for just me
protection of the purity
uniqueness oneness
of it all

I made the call
today
and I'm glad I did

I'm Busted

You busted me
I'm caught
you turned the corner
before my shield fell in place

before I stilled my heart and mind
numbed all emotion and perception
shut down any hint of desire
you walked up on me
caught me by surprise
before i had deeply exhaled
locked air in chest and
painfully purged all unwanted thoughts
of you

damn

It was all over my face
my mental, played out like a projector
my mind ticking, displaying the
reel of desire
of unbridled passion and
focused discovery that
can never, ever, be

And you saw it
received it
held onto it
verification and confirmation
receipt of
soul purchased by your
very male essence and
heart taken
by your simple presence

You busted me and
I can't deny it

I'm caught up.

Under Armor

Who created Under Armor?
if I didn't know better
I would swear it was a women
who had similar imaginings or
a delectable sensual mind set
just like me

So distracting
trying to focus on
neck and above
talking to brotha sporting
Under Armor wear

Trying to ignore
broad chest and
muscle ripped channels
flowing so smoothly
eloquently
under colored shirt

Creation that is just a
highlighter
the accent mark, the
explanation point or
flashing neon arrow pointed
solely at
male beauty

Reminding me of
teenage years and childhood stars
when football players sported
chopped up t-shirts with metal cleats
and buffed brothas roamed the streets
shirtless and cut
using hot days as opportunites
to lure the mind and
clearly display
black beauty in all its glory

making my mind wonder
fingers aching to
lightly trace
the every curve and ripple of
masculine wonder

Some days I got to curse
the creator of Under Armor
trying so hard to
stay focused and not let mind wonder
not explore mental adventures
incited by the very sight of
the fitted wear

Other days, I just give in
watching professionals or collegiates
tear away uniforms and
expose tight swath of fabric
wondering how a man could
seem so magnifiscent
how a body could
exude such physical brilliance
how these brothas can be so clueless
messin with my mind and
eliminating the entire purpose
of watching the sport

Who in the hell created Under Armor?

Don't Fall In Love

You promised not to fall in love
remember?
that was the only condition
the only unbreakable rule

But now love is in your eyes
pouring through with every blink
an ideal of me and you
a possible life together, a future
and you know it can never be

Recall how this started
behind closed doors
through hushed whispers and
quietly locked eyes
removing ourselves, responding to
your hints, flirts, approaches
my responses, affirmations and purrs

We navigated deep waters and dark trenches
spread open wide searching
breathing, enjoying
removing obstacles and granting freedom
expression, free from judgement
discovering natural passion
without inhibition

But I explained it before
told you not to let this happen
to remember not to confuse
lust with love
passion with promise
release with reliance
climax with claim

We can't confuse this or
get wrapped into its potential
we must keep it separate, distinct
enjoy love making and
soul comforting
without life merging or hope intertwining

Please, please
remember our promise

First Valentine's Day

Do you remember the first one
the first Valentine's day
when love was so new and unsure
with no expectation and little pressure
feeling lucky to have met
to have you by my side

What a romantic day
you cooked my first meal while
friends scoffed and laughed
cause you swallowed pride and cooked for me
speaking of the intimate bond that had formed
in less that a year

I whispered to you
that I couldn't wait to
share my space
let you in and
reward your courage
your freedom
your risk taking
in the name of love

And that was one of the sweetest nights
the most memorable of evenings
long and never ending
wrapped in each others arms

I remember the first one
that Valentines Day
the first time that love became
true and clear in my heart
the first time my focus turned
fully on only you and, for the first time,
I wanted no one else
but you

Removing Doubt

Deep in thought
formulating new fiction in my head
Eyes open, but unseeing
I came to and discovered you
watching me
eyes locked into mine

I quickly looked away
attempting to veil my mental musings
cover my endless, boundless thoughts
erase my trance like state
tucking away new story for
later privacy

It just occurred to me
that was the last to
you met eyes with me
the last time you
kindly smiled or
seemed relaxed in my presence

Now you avoid me
like I am plagued and problematic
going above and beyond the necessary measures
to pretend I don't exist
am not in your physical sphere
or standing right in front of your face

What happened?

In that split second
a friend became a foe
a comfortable space became a
tension filled pocket
a casual acknowledgement
became a continual dismissal

I am not sure of the what and the why's
and guess I really shouldn't care
but am surprised to discover
that I do
helpless to change circumstance
or reverse whatever negativity
I inadvertently caused
I am content to remain
in the edges of the shadows
beyond your circle
out of the reaches of your world
hopefully eliminating your discomfort and
removing speculative doubt

Take Your Breath Away

Sister, girlfriend
has a man ever
took your breath away

No I mean, really
it could just be me but
the sight of some men makes me have to
bow head and find some composure
or at least the facade of
self dignity until I can
got to a private space and
deeply exhale

A certain man can walk into my space
and distract my entire focus
interrupt my sentence as it tumbles from my lips
leave my mind blank while
the body throbs by his mere presence

Is it just me?
Is my woman dial up
way too high
drowning out logic and caution
self restraint and demureness?

Finding myself
remembering why I love
black men
the distinct magnificence that they create
by their very logic, simple existence
complicated rhythm, magnetic radiation

Wanting to internalize deep scent and
listen to native tongue
admire street rawness and
encourage pure brilliance

Not all possess it
but the ones that do
call to me so loudly by simply walking near
acknowledge me immediately
with a slight smile
a simple nod
realizing that I
recognize them for the true kings
they are

Trust me, girlfriend
allow yourself to enjoy
black men
to remember the innate thrill of them
to allow them to
take your breath away

Didn't Mean To Kiss Him

Didn't mean to kiss him
I swear I didn't
but wrapped in his arms
my mind went blank
all I could register was
the distinct impression
of manhood at its
finest peak

Its solid form
wrapped in perfection's physique
his grip so tight
eliminating the friendship hug
locking hip to hip and
chest to chest
his eyes closed
mine focused on his
wonderful face but seeing
nothing but future
envelope of caramel
me drowning in the
folds of this
wondrous creature

Those lips turned to magnets and
had to be tasted
had to be felt
drawn in and locked down
so light, so quick but
his eyes opened
met mine
delved into me
telling me what I needed to know
providing the passport
the entry
the special pass to return
to touch once again

The beginning and the end
or at least all I will ever tell

it started and ended with a kiss
a kiss that lasted an eternity
a lifetime
a night
or merely a second

I didn't mean to kiss him
I swear I didn't

The Sound of Your Voice

Heard his voice
and my spirit smiled
spreading throughout my core
igniting a chain reaction
of passion's thrill

Couldn't even place the recognition
why my feminine essence
leapt for joy
instantly connecting to
a sound it had longed to hear
so many weeks ago

You got me blown

I am not sure how or why
it is all very innocent
we kept it above board and proper
light and friendly
but each hug led unnecessarily to another
speaking lower and softer
such that we had to move closer and closer
while tension mounted and pressure piqued
my intense throbbing matched
the blank look of desire
overwhelming your beautiful face

And we both thought about it
considered it
gave in for a second
then pulled away

But you heard my joy, didn't you?
my purest response
my eagerness for another chance
when I heard your voice
receiving confirmation of mutual desire
knowing this time you won't
fade away
cause you thought about me
every day since and you now know
just the sound of your voice
moved me

I Should Tell You

I wonder if I should tell
just reveal what you do to me
Maybe at our next "chance meeting"
so well planned and orchestrated
that I should be ashamed

But I am not

I gotto lay eyes on you
like an addict I feen for our next meeting
the next touch
that next opportunity to
smile and gain response
see my reflection in your eyes
see my beauty through your reaction
discover my love
by your expression

Maybe I should just tell you
admit and be honest

I want you so much
Not all of you
just what you can give
when you can give it
But my tongue gets thick
whenever you approach and
apart from light flirting
I can't manage a sentence or a clear thought
much less an admission

I don't know what to do
but I gotto find a way
to let you know
to create the opportunity
if there is a slightest chance

I gotto to tell you

I Want You

I want you
want to be with you
want to learn you
discover you
test and try you

There are places we could go
discover
explore
without ever leaving this space

There are experiences
destinations
adventures of which we can partake
without leaving this arena

Just me and you

I can lead you there
if you release your mind
and willingly follow
I can teach you
if you trust me and believe in
the magic of us

I want to make love to you
give you a glimpse of
the wonder created
by a spark of genuine love
colliding with the intense need
to intertwine with you
to press fit my body into
your masculine template and
slowly ride the natural rhythm
the unique melody created by
the hum of us

I want to make love to you
if you'll let me

Always You

There is always you
always there
lurking in the corners of my mind
riding listless along the shadows of my thoughts

You are always with me
At first I ignored it or
remained oblivious
unaware how much I depended
relied on the smooth deep swell of your voice
calling my name
as only you still do

But lately I find myself jealous
when others fill your space
take your attention
nestle a place in your heart
and I have to remind myself
that
you are not mine and
you deserve the love
I can never give you but you
are worthy of so much more
all of me and what I believe I can be
because, at my weakest and strongest
you have always been
right here with me

The Cost of Me

How long would you wait
just for me
what do you think I am worth
and what are you willing to do

There is a price
for everything
good or bad
An inherent cost
a hidden fee

Have you wondered about
the cost of my love
no, not money
not dollars and cents

Loyalty and faithfulness
are the two conditions
the only real requirements
for them, I will give you the world
open up my deepest chamber
and reveal the most intimate
the secret to my very essence
the key to everything I will ever be
I will give it all
only to you

Do you think I am worth it?
are you prepared to handle
the price, the cost
the entrance fee
to focus your eyes and heart
only on me
to defend and protect whatever we are
For that, you can receive
every little bit
of me

What Do You Want?

What do you want from me
Really
in all honesty
tell me, don't be shy
I might laugh a little
maybe blush a slight bit
but I won't refuse you
I couldn't
even if I wanted to

Do you think you could possibly say
anything
that I haven't already thought on
already dreamed about

Do you think your mind
could expand past
the deep reaches and
far stretches of my
passion soaked imagination

Haven't you figured out by now
that I hold no reserves
dwell with minimal inhibitions
when the focus is you and me or
me and you or
you with me or
et cetera and so forth

so tell me, in all honesty
what do you want from me
will you promise me the chance
to fulfill whatever you desire
without judgment or reservation

if so, I promise I won't refuse you
I couldn't, even if I wanted to

Would It Be Wrong?

Would it be wrong
to think on you?
Really?
to think about you
in the middle of my day
wondering whether I could
penetrate your armor
and bring to you
my smile

Would it be wrong
to want you?
Really?
To imagine caressing you gently
teaching true intimacy
enclosed space with minimal motion
holding and breathing
watching and learning
understanding the width and
indulging in your length

Would it be wrong
to experience you?
Really?
Letting go and seeking peace
in the wondrous annuls of your mind
the glorious channels
of your soul
the unique entry to your heart
through the passionate open
of oral response

Would it be wrong
to love you?
Really?
To look past flaw and
perceived idea
accepting the reality and
trueness that represents
effort and struggle
belief in the divine unity
of man and woman
of me and you
allowing it to guide
supersede and lead to eternity

Would it be wrong?
How could it be?

Married Man

talking and giggling
I glanced up to
check the time when
he walked in
looking like
goodness wrapped in caramel
dipped in masculinity
bulging and firm
gentle and kind

I hesitated
paused
interrupting conversation and
creating awkward space
cause instantly
I wanted to get lost
absorbed
released into
the very essence of this man

By just the look
the calm in the eye
the physique and cool swagger
speaking of past ruffneck
refined and reformed
to business cool

"Wedding ring"
my girlfriend whispered
but my eyes wouldn't look down
couldn't tear away
until he spotted me
then embarrassment
warm and stinging
swept through my person
sent alarms to my brain
explosions tearing through my mind
i turned abruptly
leaving that
married man
alone

Need Space

You have to leave some space
some air
a little room to breathe

Its impossible to deeply inhale
enjoy the fresh brisk breeze
sway with the delightful wind
when you come around

Like a vacuum
you seem to draw in
every imaginable particle
even light fades
sucked into your magnificent being
causing you to glow
brighter and
shine iridescent
while the entire world
becomes your mere backdrop

So, you gotto move
leave
go away and
allow sound to return to me
light to sprinkle its rays across me
wiggle fingers and shake hips
breaking through the
immobile cast
statue, figurine that I become
whenever you are around

I can't control me
near you
don't live life
so wrapped into you
everything else falls grey
in comparison
its not your fault, I know, but
there is no other solution

please, please go
so that
I can breathe again

Observed

"I notice every little thing
about you"
he said
and my heart hurt
the good kinda hurt
the breathless, deep desire
longing for a simple taste of you
type of hurt

cause the brotha noticed
paid attention
made me a priority
in the myriad of his life
thought on me
when i wasn't in his face
remembered me when
I hadn't been around

observed me with
subtle smile
eyes promising long nights of
intense passion
cause he would study me
learn my response
take note of my peak and
experiment with each reaction

my smile escaping me
lingering at the edge of my lips
unable to fight my surprises
at his sincerity, purity
natural beauty and
wonderful maleness

He noticed and
the thrill of it
made my heart hurt
breath escaped me, cause
this special man
took time to think
on me

damn

Completely Inappropriate

I began to stutter
my tongue felt thick in my mouth
head slightly light I
focused on the tip of my shoe
the blank wall behind you
to still my self
calm my nerves
hide my emotion

Completely inappropriate

What is wrong with me?
you shouldn't be on my mind
there is no scenario in which this could work
that we could operate
forge a space or a vibe
unique to us

Who would be hurt
lost
suffocated and strangled in the
bizarre twist and turns
of a uniting of us

It can't ever be
yet I stand here
stuttering like a fool
remembering that last hug and light kiss
as if my entire existence
was defined by it

I got to pull it together
cannot succumb
too much to lose
and nothing to gain
the mere entertaining of it
is completely inappropriate

The Elevator

The simple melody of your voice
messed me up and
planted me to my spot

Runnin late, as usual
I slide breathlessly into the elevator
hoping that time will stop or
i can slip into the office, I stand unnoticed
in the elevator corner
between shifting feet and uncomfortable bodies
pressed tightly together

Then, I heard it
a deep flowing chuckle
a whispered "wassup"
soft, smooth
pouring over me like warmed honey
clinging to me, sticking, ringing in my head

I didn't want to turn around,
put face to such a beautiful voice
how could it not
disappoint
no matter how fine you actually were

So I stood still
wondering what that voice sounded like
calling my name in
the middle of the night
whispering, responding
filling me with promised innuendos
and stimulating me with
pure word play
charging my inner women
calling to her
coaxing her delayed response
hesitant bloom
engorging her every orifice causing
earth shattering release
by the simple sound of your voice

I couldn't move
watched my destination come and go
stood still in the corner of that elevator
waiting, hoping
you would clear out
move with the crowd
and I would never know and
could hold onto that sound
for an eternity

But our eyes met and
you knew
ten floors later
there was just
me and you
my overflowing desire and
your sensual deep voice
in that empty elevator

Any Purpose?

Tryin my hardest
not to hate you
not despise what I've
grown to be
Not look at the damp
darkness on the fringe of my life
and question my purpose
the point of me

Its a weakness
to keep falling for this game
to want love, need it so desperately
that common sense simply floats away
and every veiled explanation
spoken through clenched teeth
accepted and tolerated
because
not quite the truth
isn't really actually a lie, right?

Hell naw, the truth lies
in your action
in your inherent disinterest
your unwillingness to be fazed
Not pressed about where I be or
who I am with
waving off obvious gestures to
gain your attention
solicit some response

Hugged all up against this one and
kissing that one lightly on the cheek
you barely blink
out til 3 am
cause i stopped by his place
to pick up your cd, i think
directly to the shower I go
from you not a question, not a response
life just rolls on
reality is, you don't give a damn
cause the home to your heart
does not reside in me

Leaving me to examine
A continuous scroll of
unidentifiable emotions
splattered against the black canvas
of this relationship, this life
and I can't help but
start to hate you
because I no longer understand
the natural reason of being me

I'm Releasing

I'm releasin you
movin on
checkin the time wasted
shaking my head in shame
but no more looking back
dismissing you and all
this pain

I'm releasin this
drama filled existence
while you play house
and run ragged
trying to spread your seed and
sow wild oats
bringing home other's
physical remnants and
spiritual residue
leaving me feeling filthy,
unloved
at the very touch of you

Naw, I'm releasing this,
this magnetic thing
this animal attraction
so simply mistermed love
got me stuck in an emotional rut
a bottomless pit
while lust disguises itself
hides the price of my soul
bartered out in pieces for
the mere association to you

Yeah, I'm releasing this
steppin forward into the sun
dusting off the coat of neglect
brushing away the lint of rejection
recognizing that my life has meaning
despite my flaws there lies an inner beauty
an eternal pureness and
desire for oneness
and my search will continue while I
rebuild my center
reconstruct my very core
pushing forward, eyes locked upward
finally realizing a future
leaving you and all your dirty
in the dark folds
of my past...

Only A Dream

How can a dream
feel so real
a touch still make the spine tingle
a word still raise possibilities of love
heart rate increasing and
inhaled breath suddenly gone shallow
a giggle a
promised word
an emotion to seal the deal
make this coupling whole
the pairing real

Just a dream?

Laying on one side
disappointment flowing
rushing, spreading through
this being like
venom in the blood
so close, so near
I never realized I liked him
wanted him
had any feeling at all toward him
yet, the mirage felt so real
his smile a broad oasis
his touch a secret delight
as I cleared the table he
touched the back of my knee
smiled at my sudden reaction
announced his want
only for me

nestled so deeply in the
comfort of the mind
I believed and succumbed
thrilled at the excitement of
new love
again

Until light pours across my eyes
and ears absorb daily household chaos
mind clears and relinquishes
sleepy mist and unspoken, embedded longings

I swallow disappointment
reality creeping into remembrance and
bringing realization that
it was merely a dream

Overload

Does the desire
pour from me like an
open river
spraying lightly against your cheek
lapping lazily onto your banks

You approach so easily
so sure and confident
cupping your hands and
dipping gently into the
fullness of me
holding my essence within
your wide palms
letting it slowly escape
trickling along your fingers
around your wrists
down the masculine swell of your
wonderful arms

I must be bursting
obvious and full
my scent must be alluring
overwhelming
uniquely lustful and wanting
the subtle fulfillment of you

You knew rejection was not an option
whether forbidden or not
You were confident that the whole of me
would simply be handed to you
A whispered word
a light touch
a misplaced kiss
landing with perfection
the steady pulse of you
the most simple and most perfect
overwhelming seduction

Your Everything

I wanna go back
to that night
pick up where I left off
remove that period and
insert a comma

I got scared

It was really that simple, that foolish
you laid it all out, bare and for real
I wasn't looking for a life time commitment
and you didn't offer it
we both were already tied up
forever mended and linked
to other souls

But your raw and pure offer
was all of you
for that night, for that moment
the gaping whole from your love life
begging for me to pour in and fill
What more could I ask
what more could I want

So in the awkward silent pause
i looked into your eyes
and saw an innocence that
I could fall in love with
a gentleness that I could
cradle my soul against
a purity that I could
rest my spirit in

and I got scared

Can I have that night back
that moment, that infinitesimal
minuscule fraction of a second
when the universe existed
in your eyes and
your eyes absorbed only me
and, my reflection framed so lovingly
longingly
changing the play into
ever binding fulfillment
for that moment it was clear
I could have been your everything

Unique Memory

Your name escaped my
sealed inner vault
sliding past barely parted lips
as the memories unfolded
clear against my closed eyes

Your touch found
every imaginable zone
every single point
pressing until I was raw
exhausted but overstimulated
tingling
a light breeze over the
super sensitive
causing waves of passion to
rain down over me
cling to my skin like cool morning dew
staining my person
leaving your indelible mark
invisible radiation
glowing through

Then you stopped
watched my eruption
mumbling words of love, lust
promotion and encouragement
releasing flood gates and
tearing down impenetrable dams

I want you, again
need to physically reminisce on
every single detail
highlight the most expressive and
reenact the most intimate
take you up on your promises
indulge myself in your pampered expertise
allow you a permanent marking
in my mind

The Loyal

There is something different
some part of me that
you knew existed, but ignored
until I gave it voice and
handed over access and pass

You accepted entry
hesitantly confirming the me
you suspected all along
stumbling around me, now
casual, but forced awkward

I can feel it a
tense static a
hesitant air, you won't discuss it
won't entertain it
won't acknowledge it and
vibe with me, like its just not there

But I know, now
for the first time
I finally figured it out
and you know that I know
but there is nothing either of us
would ever dare do
or say

How long have you loved me?

When did it happen
a forever simmering connection
or a sudden onslaught of
unconfrontable emotion
When did they all have to
measure up to me
never quite matching your mental perception
which filters out all my flows and
creates for any woman
an unattainable standard

When did you decide that
a lifetime of this was
better than
nothing at all
relinquishing pursuit of them
always right by my side
loyal to a fault
pure adoration in your every delicate handling
of me

How long have I dismissed it, confused it
clouded in a mask of friendship
sharing stories of love and lust
causing you unbearable pain
hidden in your determination to
be my foundation

The realization came with validation
clarifying one other certainty

I love you too

What You Do

Feather stroke,
down the ridge of the thigh
breathless whisper
against the lobe of the ear
subtle caress of satin
against the small of the back
sweet butterfly kisses
along the nape of the neck

strong finger tickles
on the balls of the foot
light teasing tastes
along the curve of the hip
lips sweetly planted
in the palm of the hand
head gently pressed
against the small of the belly

finger tips firmly planted
along the smoothness of the waist
oil lightly dropped
on the back of the knees
hands cupping
massaging the full woman bud
lean torso pressing
absorbing full submission

locked bodies, finally,
melting into one perfect grind

Oh, what you do...

Of Him, Of Me

The smoothness of him
caught me,
tore me up
shivering as the small hairs
rise and my external organ tingles
at his every touch
wanting to feel
every inch

The calmness of him
got me feenin
yearnin
striving to possess him
just a small part
for a small period

The manness of him
shook me
called to me, demanded my attention
desire creating its own island
a personal enclave
a small parameter to submerge in

The ebony cloak of him
covered me
laid bare against my skin
lightly touching, yet firmly holding
wrapped all around me
a luxurious blanket of wonderful him

The centered mass of him
reached deep, deep down into my depths
searching for the primal call
this signal to his basic essence
plunging and searching
finding him, swallowed in me

The beauty of him
relinquished me, released hatches
and opened invisible doors
pouring out the best
like velvet, thick and plush
requiring his eagerness to sink in
lose himself
dissolve into the unique wonder
of me

Had Something?

We had something
didn't we?
some unspoken agreement
some inexplicable understanding
Planning to bump into one another
daily
to fake surprise
easily tease and
harmlessly flirt
separate and keep it movin

although my mind replayed
the days encounter
a million more times

Never once was I disappointed
left astray
you always took the bait
always located just where I would be
and I always showed up where
you had no choice but to pass

So, why didn't we do anything
why didn't we press
Neither of us would have rejected the other
both of us already knew
burned and ached
for more
both of us already knew
we had something
both of us
chose to do
nothing

Your Smile

That smile
stopped my heart
still
voices blurred and
time slowed
unable to fight intense
magnetic draw
the invisible net
wrapped around me
tugging my closer
through that smile

Was I the only one
who felt it?
a wind tunnel
a private lane
a narrow partition
dividing me from them and
you from him
verified by a modest glance that
always sealed
blended our vision into one
creating that
perfect smile

You never looked away
although I didn't notice
then
I always quickly inhaled
blushed, as much as a brown girl can
tearing my eyes away
trying so hard to regroup
to compose, never noticing
that my mouth automatically curved
dimpled in my cheeks
baring a sliver of white
carrying my high for the next
several minutes
my natural response
to your perfect smile

His Girl

As usual, you completely missed the point
which is why your still bragging
that I used to be your girl, not realizing
the very term implies that
I walked away, gave up all attempts
and shut down that defunct operation

I used to be yours
in every way
younger and more innocent
I gave you open access to
every intimate part

But you were, and still are, so focused
on what he thinks and what she says
on how it appears to the masses
instead of investing in the for real

Your insecurities became annoying and aggravating
driving me insane
while you worried about them
he took care of me
paid attention to me
thought of me and
lost himself in me

So when did you notice I had left?
once I was already on his arm
walking past you, making sure to
look the other way
avoid all eye contact
insure that you have no reason to doubt
that he is completely with me
and my mind is on no other,
just him

Of course, he knows about you
the careless one
so clueless
so consumed with appearance
trading substance for macho imagery
But unlike you, my man is not worried
about your used to haves and your
intimate memories

He is too busy
developing a deeper level of lust
satisfying my insatiable cravings of desire
studying, with care and detail
researching my response to his every caress
creating new loves and new dreams with me

Believe me,
I am keeping him entirely occupied
way too busy to care about
who or what
you used to have

Little Miss Polite

Why is your phone ringing at 3 am
the morning of your planned departure
the trip to meet your homeys at South Beach, right?
SO tell me, why is a female voice
ringing in my ear?
immediately answering the unasked question
identifying herself as an old friend
calling to find out whether you'd left

Hmm. Wake up. Now.
Here, speak to your girl
No, I am not going to play myself by acting undignified or
losing my composure
satisying the real hidden agenda of this
sinister scheming sista

When you hang up I will gladly
identify the game for you
explain how she purposely blew up your spot
lettin me know exactly what's up
in a passive aggressive attempt to lay claim

Then Ima simply leave it alone
rub your chest and kiss your neck whisper my desires and
rock you back to sleep
You don't owe me an explanation or an excuse, but
the writing is clearly on the wall
I won't fuss or pout, won't get in your way
Hope you enjoy your trip and your homeys and
the desperate chick that tried in vain

You'll be back cause
my body and soul are your home
But my calm and cool will play with your mind
creating irksome questions
Later, my silence will scream loudly in your head
in the midst of your party's organized confusion
and you won't help but wonder
what I'm doing, what secrets I've kept and
who might be filling your spot
while your away

On that, too, I will be silent and unresponsive
won't bother to calm you or affirm
your reign over my throne

So, for the root of doubt embedded in your psyche
sprouting uncertainty's buds and blossoms
for the loss of trust, loss of peace
for the unspoken probability of retaliation
that you now face
for that, you can thank little miss polite

Your Kiss

If you send it to me
I promise I will blow it back at you

move over, lean up and seal it
with another
clinging lightly
enjoying this, so slowly
eyes open, watching you
get lost in this
enjoying this
registering surprise that I
came to you
stood on tiptoes
leaned gently over and
reeled you in
inhaled you
tasting slightly
pressing longingly
exploring this cavern, causing
underground rivers to rise
and unseen fountains to splash

gently spraying me
tickling, teasing, you are
holding on tightly
so tight I better
release
come up for air
clear out this fog, remove thick haze
dismiss the drowning feeling of liquid life
poured onto me
by your kiss

Copyright 2007 Discover Kai
Originally Posted at Myspace

Lost In You

So this is what it feels like
to be lost in someone

immediately after the most intimate
the glow fresh and strong
breath ragged and heavy
mind spinning and lost
blank to every thing but
the five senses
all peaked, enhanced
responding to extra attention
deliberate effort from
brotha willing to put the time in
for the exquisite unique outcome
releasing the body's special gifts
blossoming and blooming in
response to just a look
a breath
a caress
a whisper

So this is what it feels like
to want to consume
inhale every exhale
breathe in your very person
lips barely an inch apart
an eternal perpetual kiss by just
the slightest move
insatiable, spent and worn but
ravenous for you
need another taste
another touch
another promise
another lingering breathe
another light hold
another physical intertwine
to once again recapture
the moments, the seconds
the dizzied mind and the tingling vibe
the moaning breaths and the guttural sighs
yielding and succumbing to this
intense call, pounding desire
the remarkable answer to my innermost questions

wondering how I got along and
what life was before you and
curious what life will be like after you
if there is an after, if I can let go
release, maintain my distance and
play it cool, unconcerned, even disinterested
anything to keep you wanting me
any game to keep your eye in my direction
your imprint has wrapped itself around my very core
you must remain in my realm
despite my efforts to remain single
you have opened that window
slid through the door

Now, I am open

So this is what it feels like
to be completely lost
in you

(*A requested repost - please enjoy*)

Played Yourself

Yeah, I followed you
I have no reason to lie
could tell by your mumbling and
double talkin
Your sudden shift in mood
that somethin was up

Knew it was on

I have been waiting,
noticed you cut it short,
concerned I had caught a whiff.
Thought you could wait me out, huh?
I guess
But don't you know a
woman scorned can never be outdone
out maneuvered
out schemed

For every patient day
I smiled and grinned
loved you down and backed you up
knowing you would fail, falter
thinking that you had this
sewed up, seamless

Yeah, it was only a matter of time
before you resumed your creep

Hell yeah, I followed you
so in the midst of this confusion
you bucking and ducking
her screaming and hiding
all hell breaking loose
you could see my face,
witness my calm
know that this was my game
and you, Mr. Mann
just got played....

So Fresh

So clean
light and airy

so fresh
firm but gentle

so clear
tongue loose and
words flowing

so strong
grasping firmly
holding tightly

so here
in this space
in my realm

so daring
enter this private space
claim it as your throne

so real
truth never minced and
lies never uttered

so masculine
set in the belief of self
revelling in the soul of manhood

Boldness

Maybe it was your boldness
that turned my head
changed the vibe from
playful and flirty to
speechless and excited

You removed all doubt
with one simple swoop
a hug became a slow grind
while I held on for dear life

So confused I tried to
detach, throw in a wrench
jack up your play so I could
resume some control
return to the cool mask of nonchalance

But your warm breath against
the curve of my ear
whispered adventures never before felt
and experiences never before thought of
making me crave you

Before you I was
parched, you were my
long, tall, smooth glass of cool water
sipping all of you to the last drop
finding myself
needing more, craving for just one more sip

Now I am longing, sweatin'
calling and harassing
plotting and planning to just get a little more
another taste, another whispered promise
But I'm also fighting this
trying to compose myself and pull it all
back in, but I must admit

your simple boldness has
turned me out

Stimulate You

Its unthinkable
all the time I have spent
imagining the different ways to
please you
stimulate you
encourage you to
enter my folds and
release yourself freely

Somewhat embarrassing how I
long for you, it simply can't be right
making the want so much deeper
the desire so much greater
the primal call so much louder

Can I take you there
with me
for only a little while
letting go and loosening up
placing my fingertips softy
against the smooth of your
perfect skin and
inhaling so slowly, deeply
filling my head with your natural scent
swooning from your
solid mass and
melting into center of you

In fact, you can just hold me
just like that
grip me, right there
listen to the smooth melodies of my passion
the rhythmic mix of my lust
sway and rock to this indescribable beat
a low, pounding, baseline of passion
playing loudly
to stimulate you

Life In The Bubble

The prettiest young lady
will never receive compliments
and encouragement is giving grudgingly
ridiculed behind her back
picked apart from head to toe
she is isolated, lonely
left out as punishment
for receipt of supernatural beauty
over which she had no control

The superstar talent
will never get real affirmation
friendship
a threat to his peers,
who envy the supernatural gift
without considering the hours of dedication
the never ending drive and desire
the commitment that most never apply
to their divine purpose of existence
rather, he will learn to hold all
at arms length
and seek the double meaning behind
the selfish manipulative intent of
every smile

The strikingly handsome boy
will always be the most lonely
girls assuming conceit in an attempt to
dismiss their own fear and insecurity
guys assigning labels of punkdom
any reason to test him
to mark him, scar him
hurt him and bring him back to
their reality

The phenomenally poised girl
will seem distant and discreet
simply because she is not loud and boisterous
and her gift of posterity will be
looked down upon
used as a weapon against her
because the common hate is
focused on her for
attempting to love herself and
display it in her very demeanor

How hard it must be
to live life in the bubble
placed there by others
watching normal interaction and play
trying to participate in it
hoping for an offer, a token of genuine acceptance
but always on the inside looking out
because of refusal to settle
to lessen themselves
to give in to peer pressure's demise

Stay Quiet

Please, don't talk
I think it's best since
your tongue has me confused.
I think the less I know
the better this feels
the more of you
I want, and
the more of me
you can certainly have

With no conversation and minimal interaction
I have already determined that
I am going to make love to you.

Period.

It really is that simple
This internal draught seeks to be quenched
only by you
Those eyes have me longing for more,
your solid frame calls to me,
my mental begging to caress such smooth skin and
lie underneath that light smile
creating realms of possibilities, miles of opportunities
all of which I want to experience,
feel, know, touch, taste
record in the depths of my heart

But, when you talk I feel deflated
disappointed, sometimes disgusted
your lack of ambition is unattractive and
your inability to move forward is so unsettling
the internal ache quietly soothes itself
no longer wanting to feel your cure
my whispered need completely drowned out
by the loud warning bell in my head

So, don't talk and
I won't listen
Instead I will focus on the heat of you
in your quiet I can hear the only beat I am seeking
the only sounds I am yearning
stretching you past preconceived limits
allowing my unlimited exploration
until you take over
and guide me into your oblivion

So, just stay here, in this space
and please stay quiet.

Envy's Child

What makes your lenses turn such an envious color rose
convincing you that my grass is greener
although you stood at the center of my fields
while they were brown and dry

How dare you have the audacity to judge me
roll your eyes and suck your teeth
behind my back
believing my current life
is some rare trophy
to which you are more entitled

You don't know my pain
can't being to comprehend my strife
haven't suffered my misfortune and
insanity has not caved in your
delicately constructed walls of cards
maiming you through parental tools

Yet, you envy me
judge the external nonsense you think you see
denounce and refute all evidence that
the Most High has bestowed peace upon me
restoration for years
of pain and torment

So, I laugh at your spite
relishing in His perfect resolution
thankful that He, at least
is completely true
and gave my spirit the follow revelation:
you are nothing more
than envy's child

Hate

You hate me.

Now I know it,
eventually I will revel in it and
at every opportunity, laugh at it

But right now, I am sad about it
facing clear understanding that
pure hate can never be formed
from love
can never exist within love
certainly cannot hide behind love
leading me to one clear truth

You never loved me at all.

Gold

That awkward moment arises
when no more words are left
and any further action from either of us
may cross the lines drawn in the sand
cross the self imposed borders
necessary to keep right from wrong
do good instead of evil
live clean instead of mired in filth

Leading us back to this moment

I don't want to say goodbye but
simply, I have nothing left
no part that I haven't given
I can't beg you again
won't continue to whine
can't express myself clearly because
words are simply inflated sounds
blocking my esophagus
swelling in my throat
threatening to choke out my life

So you will be brave and bold, huh?
put it out there, the concept of dissolution
a test to try my response
take the chance and determine whether
the reaction is worth the trouble
to efficiently destroy this bond

Why can't you see that
I am gold
pure and virginal
dull, just covered with loves dung
Take time to clean me
apply the polish, that coat of warmth that will
chip away the grime
give up the buffer of support that must
make this nugget shine

Please don't just melt me down
and reform me
mixing me into something unpure
no longer precious, no longer wanted
simply cheapened and then
ultimately discarded

Hard To Love

It could be that I am just
hard to love
Maybe, all along
it's just been me
something inherently repugnant in my
presentation or visceral image
some spiritual flaw that radiates and
signals to others internal beacons
sending warning signals to
withdraw and retreat
remove and save themselves

It could be that I am
hard to love

Carrying so many bags and
empty memories strapped to my chest
fixed on my shoulders
pulling at me, tugging my thick frame
laughing and giggling
tormenting me
a gigantic monkey on my back

Like the silent
pink elephant in the room
that we try to ignore
The pain is there, and
as I try to release hurt
more memories strap themselves on
hurl at me out of
despair's pit
refusing to release me, free me
lighten my load, just leave me be

While I fight and struggle
pushing and clawing
tearing them from my very spirit
those that I love
stand too close and
catch an elbow
a blackened eye
a busted lip
a swollen jaw
caught in the cross blows between
me and my pain

It is easier to just walk away
to quit
to honestly waive that white flag
and surrender
accepting peace and
leaving me in the process

Cause I just may be
too hard to love.