The Loyal

There is something different
some part of me that
you knew existed, but ignored
until I gave it voice and
handed over access and pass

You accepted entry
hesitantly confirming the me
you suspected all along
stumbling around me, now
casual, but forced awkward

I can feel it a
tense static a
hesitant air, you won't discuss it
won't entertain it
won't acknowledge it and
vibe with me, like its just not there

But I know, now
for the first time
I finally figured it out
and you know that I know
but there is nothing either of us
would ever dare do
or say

How long have you loved me?

When did it happen
a forever simmering connection
or a sudden onslaught of
unconfrontable emotion
When did they all have to
measure up to me
never quite matching your mental perception
which filters out all my flows and
creates for any woman
an unattainable standard

When did you decide that
a lifetime of this was
better than
nothing at all
relinquishing pursuit of them
always right by my side
loyal to a fault
pure adoration in your every delicate handling
of me

How long have I dismissed it, confused it
clouded in a mask of friendship
sharing stories of love and lust
causing you unbearable pain
hidden in your determination to
be my foundation

The realization came with validation
clarifying one other certainty

I love you too

My Secret

I got a secret and
I ain't telling
it's mine all mine
a sweet memory
for me

My secret
floats around the
sphere of my spirit
an invisible source
of joy and love

Naw,naw
I can't tell you my secret
won't reveal
what makes me tick
allows me to rise with a grin
and close my eyes
in anticipation

What a wonderful thing
a promise just for me
an idea ripe with peace
an experience open to pleasure
my place of comfort and freedom
a warm cozy blanket
secure and sure footing
my secret

Soul Kiss

I'm sending you a soul kiss.
Only to you.
This unique symbol of devotion and love.
Identifying my soul mate,
spiritual partner, physical lover and mental stimulator.

Yes. A soul kiss.

My innermost vibration
radiating slowly in circular expansion
like a penny thrown in a still pond
creating slight ripples,
spreading and pulsing against you
filling every orifice until
locating your most secret self

When our souls touch
yours will recall making love to me
uttermost wants and secret whispers
admitted desires and deepest promises...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**