Rejection of Me

This dance is tiring
momentarily exhilarating
infinitely draining

How can you keep rejecting me?
how can you keep being
the only one who sees
nothing special in me
nothing amazing, nothing pure
nothing worth grasping onto
holding close
clinging to instinctively and
protecting without clarification
taking the chance of being
dead ass wrong
for the opportunity
of shielding me just right

The shadows are filled with
so many who see
who wait in the wings
wondering when I will wake up or
be left, once again
blamed for all the wrongs in the world and
remembered with every painful recollection
making the second time the easiest time
to put an end to the painful game
the dreadful dance
the inherent rejection of me and
everything that I am
again and again and again

Your Soft Hand

Time has surrounded me
encumbered me
binding and strapping me
restricting my reach to memories

I cannot bring back the past
Oh, how I want to,
just to experience as
many of those moments of you
as I can

I am bound to the magnetic tunnel of time
unable to crack it
forward motion never stopping, never releasing me
I cannot get extra
cannot stretch out this second, moment, minute
see?
it is already gone

I just want to see her again.
Just one more time
hear the tinkling laugh
the gentle voice
hold the soft hand that felt like
the bottom of a newborns foot
The hands that would place me in her lap,
rub my back, pray over me and
cover me with love
God inspired protection

Annie Ophelia
I miss you, but I understand
you have been released and
the pain is finally gone

But every now and then, in my dreams
I am that little girl again
in endless love with
her beautiful grandmother
holding onto your soft, soft hand....