If Only

If only I could
let go and release
turn myself out
completely
allow my mind to
absorb all the possibilities
become agile and flexible
willing and yearning
for new experiences

If only I could
shut the door on
past mistakes and
create an eraser to
wipe memories away
pretend I didn't trip
hadn't fallen
laid splayed out on my back
for all to see

If only I could
recreate me
add in more courage
sprinkle in a bit of strength
a dose of forgiveness
a little bit of faith
belief that my
root won't eventually rot and
my cornerstone will not crack

If only I could
be sure
force myself to believe that
my foundation will not
eventually crumble

If only

Temorarily Release

You represent freedom
an opening, a crack
the slight sliver in this plaster
a tiny hole in this foundation

I need to slide through
bend my body to
conform to your opening and
push in, bow down
fit within the seams
as best I can

It is my one opportunity for escape
Release
Sanity
Breathe

So I cling to you
grasp onto your moving form
clench to this one opportunity
the slight chance to
escape
exhale
submit
if only temporarily

Your Enhancement

Can you stay
for a little while
I'm not quite ready
to be alone
not yet

Normally, my alone time
is not lonely time
but, your space has enriched me
brightened me
added music to silence
light to dimness
color to drab
taste to bland

Now I am senstive to
new arousals and enrichment and
concerned about the
return to plain
sad at the thought of reentry
now it seems so
lonely
returning to dry and brittle after inhaling your
moist and luxurious

So please, please
stay with me
just a little while
maybe then I can release you
and the enhancement you possess