My Young Black Man

An entire future is
waiting for you
breathless with anticipation
hoping, praying, pleading
for you to stay on track

My young black man

The boy in you is
growing up, maturing
changing and expanding
discovering talents
developing skills

You were purposely
hidden in the shadows
your gifts apparent
your uniqueness so identifiable
I hid you in the depths of my heart
for protection
minimizing exposure
keeping your world small
to allow you to
plant roots and
grow firm

Maybe it wasn't right
but it was the best I could do

Now you emerge
split through the timid form
stepping forth a man
exuding strength and character
calm and love
fulfillment and destiny
just a stones throw away

Hang on, my young black man
please follow your path
be careful with your life
treat your being with respect
remain prayerfully diligent
that your way is lighted,
path predetermined
success guaranteed

Down 4 Whatever

What happened?
We've lost that
down for whatever, whenever
spontaneity

Indulgent enjoyment
physical and spiritual
limited means, but
privileged circumstance
manifesting hourly enjoyment
daily lingering, playing
submerging, experimenting

Baby, I'm down for whatever
whenever
basement stools and
family room floors
attic coves and
bathroom showers
kitchen tables and
backseat benches

Time like grains of sand
pouring through hands
landing bountiful at our feet

But now it's gone
plagued by
responsibility and
grown folk drama
consuming energy and
exhausting creativity
snuffing out primal urging
making bed time actual sleep time

We can get it back
it's still there, I feel it
just rustle it up and recreate
preserve a bit of us
away from the world
set aside for only you and I

Hmm, naw, we don't have
to wait for tonight
with you, baby
I'm down for whatever.

Escape

The possibility of escape
freedom and release
so tantalizing and
exciting

inciting planning and scheming
just short of lying
to create the scenario
script the circumstance

I can do this and
they don't have to know

Intimate thoughts hush, but
loudly thumping in the
hollow of my ear
increasing pressure
mounting heartbeat pounding
against ribbed cage

I can do this

I can create this space
free from responsibility
removed from obligation
vacuum tunnelled and silent
roaring and shouting

just for a little while
just for a little bit
a small, tiny
muy pequeño
space
just for me

Cinnamon Brown

So cinnamon brown
warm and gentle
molding me with
kind touch
smell, earthy but masculine
lingering

So sweet to the taste
light lips exchange
breathless whispers
We barely touch, but
connect all the same
eyes closed, holding onto
images of you,
cinnamon brown

So deep, blush rose
embarrassed by instant attraction and
mind wandering magnetism to
cinnamon brown
curiosity overwhelming all home training
rose petals velvet to the touch
blooming to expose lush inside
responding to
cinnamon brown kisses and whispers
breezes and tickles

So magical, opening so slowly
enthralled and more engorged
deep rose in full bloom
longing for
cinnamon brown

Merging cohesively, creating
blinding gold tinged lights
stars and seamless glow
breathless fixation as
this light grows brighter, stronger
consciousness fades while light surges
within, smooth and full then
shuddering and thrashing
gasping and seizing
bursting into a million fragments
eyes open, amazed
rested on you
cinnamon brown

Technorati Profile

Word Lost

No words tonite
blank slate stares
back at me
empty, unscratched
virginal and pure

The written word
unavailable, blocking me
slapping me away
turning it's back
denying all access

I've been irresponsible
uncareful with the gift
convenient and loose
flagrant and abusive
the talent,
temporarily allowed to
dwell within,
has evaporated

Inspiration simply under license
reliant on spiritual and moral compass
Failure to uphold
fundamental beliefs leads to
sparse ideas, floating unattached and disengaged
fragments of nothing

Judgement and punishment
sentencing and damning
for loose lips and sensual expression
contributing to ethic erosion and
polluted mental hemisphere

My license has been revoked, ya'll
the written word has denied my access.

Loves Form

What form does
your love take?
Do you know?

Is it gentle, kind
caressing and loving
expanding, retracting
allowing change and growth?

Maybe more wistful
just enough to
stimulate senses but
always out of reach
vapor covered mirage
real, but unsustained
leaving longing and want
hope of fulfillment

Although you're gritty
I hope its not
laying hands, pushing and pulling
neck choking and body slamming
disrespect designed to enhance
weak self esteem and power

Naw. That ain't you.
Your love is firm, but not hard
real, but not harsh
truthful, but not painful
protecting, but not suffocating
A warm blanket of security
creating peace and calm
sensual passion, inspirational creativity
loving experimentation and surprise.

I know I'm right.
It's in your eyes
I can't wait to experience
the form of your love.

That was love

How can I be here again
but never have
experienced this before?

Impossible to
feel each move
tingles chasing your
fingertips
causing
sensual spasms
throughout my cover

I have been here before
but never experienced this

Fighting back
onslaught of emotion
surprise and fear
overcome by
excitement and anticipation
swallowing moans and cries
focusing on bliss
while pleasure blooms
and explodes
covers me in
goosebumps and chills

Wake me up, please...

I know I have been here before,
but never, ever, ever
experienced anything like this

Tears flood and pour
down my cheeks
light sprinkles dance
across my face
on parted lips
gasping and gulping for
breath and air
mounted tension
peaks and release
allowing me to
settle down
slowly, comfortably
cradled in the nook of you
unable to move
holding on

What was that?
I wonder

You open eyes, stare deep
inhale me, exhale you
my heart swells, surges forward
calls to you and
heeds your response

Connected.
I am connected to you
inexplicable yet undeniable

I ask aloud
"How can I have been here
but never experienced this before?"

You answer
whisper slowly and softly,
eyelids heavy
heart full, answering
clear and certain

"Because that was love."

Post Partum

Trapped.
Stuck between
maternal instinct and
wifely obligation
household duties mounting
while I negotiate
sibling demands

I am trapped.
Stuck.
Separated and disengaged
my body stretched and distorted
from huge baby manipulating
tiny womb
Dry skin and brittle hair
rough elbows and dry soles
Where am I, me
dissolved and lonely
lost in this
unidentifiable form

Grasping newborn
while infant crawls past
both lovely and blessed
but I remain
unaware, staring at
sunlight streaming through blinds
but only seeing shadows
doom and loneliness

I am alone. So, so alone.

What is wrong with me?
I should be happy
not so confused and torn
should be lighthearted
instead of suffering soul aches
failures mounting at the forefront
of my mind
successes whittling away into
obscurity

I must fight through
grasp for air and
seek out peace
calm the internal wailing and
trust in release and resurrection

I can cast off this
mask of confusion
rebuke this
temptress called depression
turn inward and beg for help
until light
returns and reclaims my soul

Blind Eye

Don't you see the signs?

After 40 months of
loving
supporting
sexing and
bank rolling

You turn blind eye and
make excuses
replacing his cold hard lying
with your own hopeful logic and
faithful justifications

Ignoring the obvious and
righteously rationalizing the
cruel and blatant...

**The remainder of this poem, and all other poems for October, are available in Discover Kai Poetry Intimate Musings, or contact a.Kai at discoverkai@hotmail.com for copies or permission to use. If you don't receive a response to email within 2 days, please resend. Thanks**

Achieve, Little Girl

Go ahead, little girl
Blaze up the world
You can achieve the unlimited
Capable of dreams and imaginings
unthinkable to
generations past

Soar, little girl, soar
I see you and I know you
only self doubt and deception
can steal your love and being
stand in your way
only you can stop you

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Tell Me

Tell me,
what am I thinking?
Naw, you need to guess
give it a try

My brown skin
blushing, flooded warmth
by these forbidden thoughts
eyes sparkling and
dimples imprinted on
the slight smile,
responding to you

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Brotha, damn

I am so sorry
I know I shouldn't stare
but you caught me
fascinated
watching you
eat, move
dance, talk,
hustle
chill

Movements swaying and
swollen masculinity
dripping from you, creating
vapor and mist
I must enter your sphere
need to be encompassed by
your vibe

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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My Best Friend

Remember when
we were just friends
discovery and laughter
intertwined enjoyment
you and me
youth and joy so
easy and simple

We existed on that
friendship realm,
teenage years expanding to
undergrad freedom
what's up and where you be
holla at me and get me back
playful and teasing
flirting and hugging
hoping and wishing

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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I Wanna

I wanna
lay eyes on you
make contact
with you
have thoughts
of you
experience dreams
of you

I wanna
lay hands on you
feel touches
of you
inhale scent
of you
be close
to you

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Tell Me Yes

Wait. Hold up.
Are you telling me no?
Really. Did you
hear and comprehend what I said?

My offer has been extended
the body yearning to
concede to the
visions and images
spun wild by this
overambitious mind

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Fading Away

You're losing me
and you don't even notice
I am slipping
through your grasp
floating away
soaring to
a space of peace
of calm
reason

This realm
we occupy
places too many demands
too little rewards
so many expectations
so few indulgences

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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As I Am

Dimensions of love
cover explored
and expanded
touch and go
light caresses a
subtle hint of
experiencing you

Here I am,
resistance faded
barriers removed
consciously deciding to
make this leap
take this jump
land squarely in
your world of discovery

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Ties That Bind

You left.

Looked in my face
hatred and spite
clear and transparent
startling and dangerous
mind resolved and
plan in effect
You walked out.

Comprehension was beyond me
around me
over my head, but I looked up
and missed it
So wrapped in love's enduring promises
sure that time spent and sacrifices made
were the ties that bind

There is no bond, no loyalty
in love or relationship

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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Ponder

Why didn't you
want me?
Our paths crossed
so young
growth and friendship
so light and easy

I wasn't in your loop
not part of your social circle
dating me could have been hush hush
just to see if it was
what it was, but
you didn't want me

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
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The Choke Hold

My head keeps butting
against this brick wall
comfort unattainable
security inaccessible

I just can't break free.
Decisions made in the past
scar future hopes
tear apart set goals
clawing and ripping
shredding and decimating
dreams

The remainder of this poem, and all other poems posted in September 2006 can be found at Discover Kai Poetry, Cherished Beginnings. Order your free* copy today.
*shipping and handling not included*