Free

When I finally opened my eyes,
His Word gave me Hope,
His Hope granted me Joy,
His Joy found me Peace,
His Peace set me free.

Just Listen

Lean forward and listen
hear what I am
trying to say
don't guess
misinterpret
assume
be ill informed or
easily misguided
Listen
press your fingertips against
the softness of my chest
and listen
connect
and listen
learn me
understand the erratic rhythm
the strong vibration bass
the powerful sensual buzz
listen, to me
to mine
to all
just listen

Poetic Promise

I haven't been faithful
and now she knows
now I reveal
and spill
my heart

The shine of authordom
caught my eye
and I turned my back
on my poetic muse
casting her aside
in the sea of
discarded wishes and
disappointed dreams

My blessed poetry
I haven't been faithful
neglecting you and using you
tapping in
when I need a release
but forgetting to feed your spirit
nourish your soul

I am an unfaithful lover
a neglectful host
Poetry, I am not worthy

Pure Love

How could I
forget you
ever
How could I
release you
ever
ever
A meeting of minds
a matching of souls
my comfort in the dark
your confidante in the light

i love you

truer words were never uttered
never more believed
never before so intoxicating
each time so breath taking

and i won't forget
how could I
ever
ever forget
the purity
of us

It Hurts

it hurts
a little
a lot
are you coming back
or have you had enough
are you frustrated or
disappointed
how did fun
become confusion
how did easy
become complicated
why would you pull the plug
without warning
without hesitation
without emotion
without pause

how did something transpire
and i remained clueless
how was some line crossed
and i was left unaware
how were you offended
and i remained in loves heaven

it hurts
just a little
a helluva lot

The Word

For I was hungry
and you gave me meat
I was thirsty
and you gave me drink
I was a stranger
and you took me in
I was naked
and you clothed me
I was sick and you visited me
I was imprisoned
and you came to me...

Matthew 25:35-36

The Word, the perfect expression
the perfect meaning

Teenage Discovery

teenagers
playing adults
curiosity overtaking shyness
desire swallowing all the rules
he and I

we sat there
parked
my heart beating
his eyes staring
my mind wanting more
my hands refusing to move
playing the good girl
until the very end
until giving over to
love in its purest form

he was love
and i was need
he was calm
and i was wanting
he was guiding
and i was the blind
he held my hand
while i finally exhaled

he was beautiful
i was fulfilled

Inundated

Full
You filled me up
noticed that my vat sat
dangerously low
damn near empty
pushing out fumes and
sputtering dry sparks
and you poured in you
kindness and
love
appreciation
and love
gentleness
and love
got me saturated and glowing
full and comfy
you filled me up
inundated by your love

Love Tide

The truth is
i love you
although I cannot say it
and i adore you
although the words
remain trapped in my throat

You possess a rare
kindness
that lets me breathe
allows me to expand and explore
test and try
experiment and love

you don't betray me with
judgment
ridicule
withdrawal
cold neglect

and i want to nestle in
the sweet savory comfort of you
burrow in the confident maleness of you
and allow your love
to completely cover me

the truth is
i love you
that I am
swept away
overwhelmed by your
loving tide

Missing Link

Like a missing link I
I search for you

long for you
mourn for you
trying to fill
this inner void
this missing me
so empty
it makes me nauseous
threatening to
turn inside out
flip my inner turmoil
into my outer shell
render me putrid and ugly
riddled with angst

the emptiness within me

remember this chasm opened
tore away at the edges and
stretched so thin
my cover
imploded
my security
disappeared
You left me alone

forever searching
looking
seeking you
and what piece of me
came from you
and what part of me
still resides with you
how did it escape me
how did you
abscond with me
with that vital missing link
without which
every day
is a struggle

I Just Can't

Of course I think about him
during those quiet moments
when the soul can't evade the mind
and noise can't filter out old memories

and I worry
what life behind bars
does to him
to anyone
how he is affected and disconnected
how we are unattached and unaffiliated
how all it takes
is one call
or a letter
a simple postcard

to let him know I care
that he is on my mind
in my thoughts
stirring around my memory

But I can't
holding the pen over blank paper
I can't write and
holding the phone over
vast dial tone
I can't dial and
driving up to the penitentiary
I cant peel myself
from the car

I can't
I just can't

Its weird
or crazy
frustrating or psychotic
because I am not mad
don't regret and no longer resent
I just can't
the memories no longer torment
the absence no longer burns
but still
I can't

and I pray to God that one day I will
Find the strength to
disrupt this cocoon
tear through the malignant state
and be a daughter
despite all the things
my father never was
but right now
I just can't

Whatever I Like

Can I really have
whatever I like?
even if that
means you
totally
or at least
without she
temporarily

If that's what I want
is that what you'll give
and if that's what you'd give
will you be satisfied
with that in receipt
with me
temporarily
without he
but never permanently
cuz my life
and my time
and certainly my love
don't totally belong to me

So can you handle it
can you give me
whatever I like
when my like
fancies you and me
me and you
he and I
in our own
private dance
for a limited time
without obligation and
minus love permutations
or emotion complications
just mind blowing physical expressions

can you give me that
if you are giving me
whatever I like

Peace

Peace
evades me
skirting my mind and
delving into hidden corners
avoiding
turmoil and
anxiety
stress and pressure
repelling any semblance of
calm that
I once had

Peace
disappoints me
because I need it
so desperately
tonight
I need to feel connected and
drawn in
loved and
linked to
instead of
floating aimlessly
wonderingly mindlessly
unable to
feel normal
in my skin

Peace
is tormenting me
having allowed me to
taste his lips and
touch his skin
having stared
deep in my eyes and
shown me fire
having united with
my soul and devoured
my body
now he leaves
me
now I am
alone
needing peace

needing peace

Peace
got the best of me
the strong rushing of
emotion
drowning out his call
roaring past his promises
and I feel so lost
so purposely
so lonely
without
peace

Needing

Melting, your heat
softens me
weakens me
pliable, I become too flexible
so amenable
to anything you want
anything you need
anything I can be
for you

So, vulnerable
lost in the maze of
your passion
lighting at the
tip of your tongue
following a trail of steam
to the center core
of me

Your lips
ignite memories and
future wishes
knowing where I hope they
touch
linger
press
kiss

Insatiable, molding into
the turn of you
the still of you
your low hips
pressing perfectly
reminding me
trying me
pushing me into
frenzied longing and
stuttered whispers

I am weak and
needing the
simple sweet melody
of you

Crush

Is it
simply a crush
a misunderstood rhythm
an erratic soul beat
is that what we feel
when eyes interlock
just a thrumming
misunderstanding
a thickening concoction of
innocent admiration
rolled into one

Is that what this is
an overstated crush?

Love Hard

Got to
love you hard
like tomorrow isn't promised
and yesterday will
surely fade

Got to remember
to be thankful
you are here
every night
you're still here
where you have been
year after year after year

Got to
love you hard
for being true to your word
being real with yourself
being nourishment
to my soul

So blessed
to have you
SO lucky
to know you
So rare, to have
someone like you
in my sphere
in my life
in my soul
binded to you
for an eternity

Got to
love you hard
fresh, clean
pure
heavy
serenly
freely
letting you
spread your wings
because you have
always come back
always landed
right here
within me

Got to love you hard
during this finite life
making sure each utterance
and every act
lets you know
I am completely smitten
so absolutey
in love

Call to Me

Call to me
you
resonate with an internal chord
pulling
magetized and suctioned

I am helpless
hopeless
hearing my name
with no sound
my essence responds
triggered
aware of
uniquely you

Call to me
you
demanding and
irresistable I answer each and every
plea
request
fulfillment,
your pleasure
my only goal

Call to me

Making Love

I love
to make love
by the rays
of the sun
where your masculinesque is
on display
with all its perfections and
all its flaws

Love the feel of the day
when lovemaking is
timeless
neverending
open and free
crisp and refreshing
as perfect
as warm
as genuine as a summer day

Love
making love
to you
without pretense
no candlelight silhouettes
or dark shadows
no covers
no place to hide

Just loving
each and every bit
of each other
open and without shame
in the magnificent brilliance
of the wonderful sun

MAd At Me

Trying to forgive me
for letting me
gain weight
lose control
fail to care

Now its difficult to
reinvent and regenerate
reclaim the sexier shell
within which
protection and comfort came with ease

But now the fat
has me exposed
reveals my weakness
my loss of control

I am mad
at me
for hiding behind the cloak of flesh
covering me in older women's unwanted weight
and for letting the lovely me
go

Your Name

Your name
resonates within the quiet pond
secluded emotion, like a small echo
bounces, growing
magnifies, blossoming
erupts
so much passionate wonder
the memory released
just by the mention
of your name