Want You To...

want you to see me
pretty
lovely
breathtaking when you
grasp me
breath me
inhale me and
sigh so deeply

want you to find me
sexy
wanting
holding me so carefully
caressing skin
combining desire
whispered name
repeated again and again
stirred emotion
mounting and rising
excited by the
simple nearness and
anticipation of
exploration anew

want you to taste me
delicious
exquisite
unique and forbidden
but unable to remove
to refrain
must absorb entirely
and submerge completely
knowing the
pure passion will be
returned, revisited
poured smoothly upon you
like loves thick honey

want you to know me
intimately
personally
dipping past exterior
sipping on the deep depths
soulful marination
mental musing and
physical manifestations
of love in every form
I conceive and serve
to you

want you to love me

My Seed

When I look at you
I see the many faces of me
the many changes of me
the many dynamics of me
my gifts and talents
strengths and weakness
fears and worries
pride and honor
embedded in the heart of me
my core

With each birth
a manifestation of
gifts unknown
personalities never explored
specialness unseen
people I never dreamed to be
but you remain
the best of me

My seed

I see me
in each of you
the me that I always
longed to be
you are wonderful
my planted truth
the flawless creation
the many facets of me

Blessed

Swallowing down the tiny drop
of disappointment
threatening to
overtake my heart
a minute detail
a small oversight
a tiny crevice
in the larger scheme of things

I am blessed
have received gifts untold
experienced life's precious dreams
watched my hearts most intimate desires
manifest into a bountiful reality

but still, I long for more
I want to see me past my dreams
me higher than my visionary heights
me expanded wide,
circumferencing every anticipated desire
transcending my wildest expectations
and the world's limited understanding

so, tonite, I swallow back the
tiny drop of disappointment
dismiss the slight wave of anxiety
knowing I have not yet proven myself
and my date of maturation has yet to arrive
and in the meantime
I will enjoy what I have seen
tasted, lived
knowing that
I have been
supremely and magnificently
blessed.

Hanging My Heart

Hanging my heart
on a star
tonight
thinking of you, wondering why
my mind can't release this thought
my curiosity won't obey my direction

Hanging my heart
on a star
wrapping my soul
around the moon
releasing my confusion into
the dynamic blackness
that stretches into infinity
riding along the magnificent path of
a shooting star
experiencing the sudden joy
your image brings to mind

Hanging my heart
on a star
tonight
thinking of you
twirling my spirit among
the celestial lights and
intertwining my essence
amongst the lunar rings that
sprinkle their brilliance
across the sky

Hanging my heart
on a star
tonight
the galaxy of my mind
allowing myself
to get lost
in the thought of you.

Worth It

Is this breath worth breathing
if you aren't here
aren't by my side
to witness my intake
follow my exhale
know that with every breath I take
you are on my mind

Is this moment worth sharing
if you aren't here
and can't be found to
enjoy it, admire it
marvel in its pure impossibility
its true miraculous nature
knowing that I can only enjoy it
because you are here

Is this life worth living
if you aren't here
have given up and bailed out
succumbed to frustration and
given away to disappointment
how can I bare the
reflection of failure contained in your eyes
and know, inherently, that love has left
your heart, your mind, your spirit
making life a procedural protocol
of dry steps, forced to drag through
each day

Is this love worth giving
if you aren't here
and won't receive it
won't willingly submerge yourself or
lose yourself in the
mystical nature of it
won't you accept the offering
in its bounty and beauty
nor wrap your body in the comfort of its
silken cloak, luxuriously woven
to comfort and support you

Tell me,
Is it still worth it?

Let Me Sit

I want to sit there
no not on the couch
right there
in the space reserved
just for me
with room enough
just for me

Move your coat
let me sit there
yes, right there
are you afraid
does the idea of my warmth
make you uncomfortable
frightened
will you react
will masculinity spring eternal or
will you downplay my pressure
and maintain your cool

Yep, I am sure
that space is ideal for me
perfect for me
resting lightly upon you
thighs parted
knees press fitted against your hips
torso resting gently against yours
facing you I can
steal a kiss
share an intimate whisper
let you know
just what I had in mind
just what I have in store

I am not scared and
no I am not shy
I can show you
don't mind proving it
If you let me sit there
right there...

Center My Core

Trying to still the doubt
the whispered untruths and
jealous lies
the constant doubt and
unspoken disbelief

I need to silence it

Trying to center my core
focus on ocean waves and
splashing banks
open air breezes and
stirring internal winds

Got to find my equilibrium
my peace
my calm
inside the midst of this storm
wrap my self in the
silence
at the core of
each tornado
Cover myself in
love's plastic
self esteem's umbrella

so each drop of hate
rolls down and off
remains separate
like oil in water
does not mesh with
the purity of my spirit
does not soil
the cleanness of my essence

Trying to center my core
silence the deafening hum
that envy makes
determined to
keep my eye on the prize
my mind on the goal
my heart on its true love
my destiny on its proper path
my life in its correct track
my future on its supernaturally blessed journey

No Love

He doesn't love me
not really
not like a woman needs to be loved
longs to be loved

a little recognition
a gentle touch
an adoring smile
a kind word
a sincere compliment

they never float naturally my way
rather, they must be asked for
begged for
leaving the response stale
stagnant and disingenuous

for years I thought I
wasn't worth more
was lucky for the love I received
any little drop
any small morsel

but as self awareness expands
need for love stretches wide
need for assurance gaps like a wound
need for support leaves body aching

he refuses to read my writing
refuses to bask in new woman
refuses to discover me new, sexy, redefined
he doesn't love me
not really
not like I need to be loved

Gotta Crush?

I gotta crush
is this a cruel joke?
some type of emotional rewind
got me feeling loopty like
a silly child
wondering what I am thinking
and how I can explain this thing
away
please go away

I gotta serious like-thing going on
a deep innate temptation
a singular calling
a definite response
to his mere look
or his blatant decision to approach
sudden distraction
got me
wondering how to fix
something I never broke
and how to correct
something I did not wrong

I gotta for real curiosity
a sudden itch
buried deep down in the
nether regions of my soul
my spirit
thought I had misread, didn't understand
was tripping, buggin or crackin
but, no
there was a connection
an unheard of familiar link
a raw magnetic draw
a sensual exploratory longing

I gotta crush
but this must be a
cruel, cruel joke

Remember Tonite

Got to remember
tonite
this night
when I didn't pretend or ignore but
acknowledged that I feel you
every time you look at me and
I know you are aware
of every place in time that I be

Want to remember
tonite
this night
the first time I met eyes with you and
without realizing it
immediately smiled
immediately had your full attention
a vacuum space, a narrow tunnel
consisting of
only you and me
all others
locked out and suddenly invisible

Want to remember
tonite
this night
when I whispered muted longings
and you smiled understanding
capturing my tongue and
stilling my heart
common ground accented and
mutual respect magnified

I hope I remember
tonite
this night
when spiritual similarities
mattered more than
temporal things
your eyes made my body burn
while you
looked at me on fire and
we spoke volumes
without saying a single word

You Have Heart

They thought you would quit
if they withheld the prize
benched you
put your pride on the line
and upped the pressure

They thought you would walk away
give up the dream
deny that deep down you loved it
always wanted it
knew you could do it but
would refuse to walk the path less travelled

They didn't know
you have heart.

There are other reasons, justifications
for riding that oak
new friendships formed
other relationships tested, jealousies revealed
different character traits built
different leadership skills acquired
you know you have the talent
the athleticism
possess what it takes
but you observed a different hunger
a pure decision to carry a team
striving to win in the face of no hope
striving to succeed when everyone else had quit
and it affected you
touched you
taught you

They made you polish that pine
Others ambitions
tried to determine your path
use you for what would best benefit them
unfairly denying you
a true chance, a real opportunity
the fix was in over a year ago
when one jersey short
meant you were the one man out
and parent's political connections
were not strong enough
to make a difference

but, what they didn't know
is that you have heart
are better for the experience
have benefited, despite it all

Your spirit of perseverance.
What they can't destroy.
You have heart.

Women at 32?

Men at 18
Women at 32?
17 year old me
laughed when she said it
a teen learning about sexual peaks
maturity and desire
disbelief that my current emotion
heart stops and sensual flip flops
could be less than optimum or
not as strong as the
desire of the curious boys I flirted with
but ran from
wanted to give in to,
but maintained good girl vibe

Women peak at 32?
Impossible
until 31 stretched before me and
new petals began to sprout
unforeseen buds started to bloom
opening, expanding
a deeper sensual desire
an exaggerated stunning lust
by 32, mind began to wonder
to expand, to try
new possibilities, opportunities

My own body
no longer a mystery,
fully explored
fully aware
fully in tune with it's insatiable
wants and needs
experiencing the previously unthinkable
mastering the previously unimaginable

Discovering that it is true
Women peak somewhere around 32
an unbelievable phenomenum
a dynamic ecstasy
if you aren't afraid
aren't scared of your body's mysteries, and
refuse to run
from your own secret treasures

A Million Times

Yes. In my mind
I've kissed you
a million times
a million ways
holding your face
lightly between my hands
gingerly lavishing you
in the pureness of
sincere longing
I've done it
in my mind

Of course. In my mind
I've held you
a million times
a million ways
caressing away
concerns and fears
refitting and reforming me
into the
confidant and lover
you need me to be
I've done it
in my mind

Certainly. In my mind
I've made love to you
a million times
a million ways
allowing my heart to absorb
your pure energy
your fantastic power
swelling and exploding
the sensual essence into
a million fragments
a million beams
washing over us
sprinkling and tickling us
shining us golden
leaving us pure
making love again
a million times
a million ways

What It Do

Why are you pressin up?
grinnin and winkin
knowin I can't fight it
can't help but respond
see my dimples press in while
my lips form into
a sincere smile, chin down
eyes squinted, trying to fight
the automatic response
at the sight of you

I know why your pressin up
figured out what's on your mind
you want to know
want to see
what it do
huh?

Hmmm.
You aren't ready for me
you know it, simply
playin with fire
toyin with teargas
teasin a wild tigress

but, i got to admit, its your boldness
that keeps my attention
watching you man up and
struggle through
refusing to be
played by the game or
intimidated by the obvious

Movin you quickly up my
ladder of respect
you may never know
what it do
but that you crossed my mind
at all
is a huge honor
unto itself

What Happens Next?

What happens after
I slice through the center of me
expose my very core
my thoughts and fears
my desires and wants
my intimate platform
flipped inside out
and laid upside down

What happens next?

Is it too much
too much information to swallow
confusing your idea of woman
of mother
of wife
of professional
of person

I am me
no more, no less
not that I even know
what that really means
but I know that my future
could never have been foretold
from my troubled beginnings
and every day
a thought or inspiration
touches me and
I have an overwhelming urge to
put it to paper
some, I am bold enough to share
others, you will never see

but in the end
when just one person says
that my poem or expression
was the perfect written counterpart
to their emotion, observation, experience
then I know
I have finally found my path...

Despite Our Faults

Despite your faults
I see you
dream of you
believe in you
trust deeply in you
pray for you
truly adore you
am in awe of you

Despite my faults
I try to love truly
deeply
sincerely
openly
honestly
patiently
willingly

Despite our faults
I believe in the perfection of us
the purity of us
the roadmap of us
the uniqueness of us
the truth of us
the morality of us
the fortitude of us
the blessing of us
the seed of us
the future of us

Despite all our faults...

Believe in Love

Do you believe in love
in it's raw purity
it's perfect essence
so sincere
so true
available only to those
who close their eyes
and allow their soul to search
for the perfect goodness
within self
within another

Do you believe?

Is it possible
to find real love?
unconditional and patient
understanding and limitless
acceptance wrapped in
peaceful unity

Do you believe?

I have experienced it
felt it
the pure power of love
a surge of energy
so unique and luminescent
that my soul traversed
desert lands
on waves of waterfalls
crossed artic circles blanketed in
warm and humid clouds
withstood volcanic eruption
in the midst of a cool diamond case

There is love
if only for a brief second
each click of the clock
another eternity
another chance
to experience a glimpse of
divine wonder

No matter what
please please try
to believe in love...

Friendship's Borders

There is danger
in friendship
man and woman
friendship
without regulation
without careful monitoring
self and outside
an inherent danger
a natural disaster

We didn't figure that out
until it was almost
too late
confiding in each other
the most intimate
sharing stories of love
and lovemaking
discussing the hunt
revealing ideas, plans
suggestions to try
to reel them in

Somewhere in the conversation
we crossed the line
tiptoed across the border
you revealing what drives you insane
me whispering what ideas have yet to be tried
Then silence
while we considered
thought about
this corner we had back ourselves in

Shouldn't it have been obvious
that we were sharing too much
shouldn't we have noticed
that the borders were becoming blurred
curiosity was taking control
and mischievous desire would soon
dominate us both
You put it out there
stated the obvious that lingered in the air
just one day and one night
friends sharing friendship
in all its form

I thought on it
seriously considered it
but, fighting myself,
I had to decline
because how could friendship
ever be the same
how could passion not
burn wildly like a spark on a thin fuse
quickly consuming and destroying
leaving us charred and burned
and our friendship
nothing more than ruined ashes

Have To Stop This

That's it. Enough.
I can no longer indulge myself
with thoughts of you
careless what-ifs and
hopeful maybes
No More.
I have to seal this leak
plug this drain
stopper the stream of ideas
sensual thoughts
lustful longings
spring boarding from the deep well
of my mind

Stop It. Gotto Control It.
Suddenly, completely distracted
work unfinished and
assignments left lingering
cause I had to pause to
remember a look
a smile
a surprising rush
unexpected soul tug
deep innate recognition

That's It. I'm Done.
I'm releasing and letting go
refitting into my proper image
of mother
of wife
returning, sadly, to matronly form
it's the only proper solution
the only clear direction
the only pathway that
won't lead to discovery's pain
this is the final period
to a never ending sentence
in this run on paragraph.

That's It. I Know It.
I have to stop this
but really,
I don't know that I can

Can I?

Can I
seduce you
with my mind
describe miles of possibilities and
unlimited realms of creativity
that we can excavate
deeply explore

Can I
show you what I am thinking
dreaming, feeling
desiring
without striking fear or caution
setting off your internal alarm
fear of where my revelations
may go, may take you
past your point of control
past your ability to
maintain cool, calm
withhold

Can I
lure you into
my inner sanctum, secret space
past the hazy vapors and
uninhibited layers
creations realization and
sensuality's essence
giving you a place to relax
stretch out, lay down
free your mind
deeply sigh
release life's tense
expectations and anxieties

Can I
use written word to
caress your body and
massage your mind
spoken word to
stimulate your sense and
create vibration's sensations
across your beautiful sphere
silence to convey
my deepest want
my far most desire
the longing that calls your name
without a word uttered

Can I?

Figure Me Out

Despite hidden shyness
I wanted him
needed to know whether
I could have him
take him
make him mine

The constant flirting
driving me insane
my lack of nerve
inflating self anger
I had to pull it together, try it
rise to the challenge
see what would happen
determine where I really fit
in this game of girl and boy

Opportunity arose when
she and I stood side by side
inadvertently
"what you want?" he asked
pointing at the snack line
"a pretzel, I think" she muttered
"you" I said clearly
unblinking and unapologetic

He laughed, I smiled
but I wasn't playing.

She sputtered and reeled back
but knew that a physical challenge was
out of the question
the street in me
haven been proven many times before

"For real?"
the follow through so easy, came with a smile, a nod
he was down, ready for whatever
eyebrows raised, impressed at my boldness

"For real."
the answer slid easily
through my mouth
my own words
surprising me, inflating me
i took his hand and
never looked back

To this day
he remembers
the days, weeks, months
we spent together
lost in each other, learning each other

Then it ended
I forgot, while he told others
repeated the story
didn't realize I mattered to him until
folks I didn't know, knew me
approached me
cause I was his girl
cause I changed his world
his viewpoint on love
relationship
girlfriends

But me, I kept it all to myself
discovered something about me
about the woman in me
about the power in womanhood
its strength, and its selfish disregard
its delightfulness and its unsuspecting danger
I actually tossed away a friend
to get a taste of a man

Teenage discovery breeding adult regret
Men, I can kinda understand
but me, well
I'm still trying to figure me out

Pleasure Spots

back of the wrist
a light kiss, a soft taste
nape of the neck
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

side of the hip
a light kiss, a soft taste
bend of the elbow
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

curve of the cheekbone
a light kiss, a soft taste
rise of the thigh
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

hollow of the chest
a light kiss, a soft taste
curve of the stomach
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

palm of the hand
a light kiss, a soft taste
the back of the knee
a sensitive touch, a gentle caress

If I Kiss You

If I kiss you
will you tell
spread the word and
inform the hemisphere
destroying a second opportunity
or another chance
ruining what could have been

Or will maturity
seal your lips and
keep you waiting, wanting
knowing more is in store
once you pass this
trying test

If I kiss you
will you stand still
allow me to
trace your lips
fill them in
touch and caress them
while hands rest
along your chest
tasting you and
enjoying the deepest intimacy
fulfilling every form
of a true kiss

If I kiss you
can you stand it
withstand it
contain yourself while
heartbeat quickens and
pressure rises
tingles began to spread
through the roof of your moth
along your spine
travel down your thighs
invading your entire body
until the slightest touch
resonates like electric shock

Yep. All that from a kiss
I promise
If I kiss you...

Pure

I see it in your eyes
a blue flame, clear
burning intense and true
white tips barely flicker
unmoved
pure

Like a lit pilot
your intimate essence
is that clear blue flame
That draws me in, fascinated
amazed
watching the closest thing to perfection
demonstrated in
the perfect still burn
no white smoke or red spark
tempered evenness
pure

I don't get to see it often
You refuse to let me look into your eyes
but when you finally relent
I can tell
it is constant
no flicker
I am transfixed
by the glimpse of it
making my heart race and
my breath shallow
your blue flame
the wonderful miracle of you

so perfect
pure

Too Careless

Too careless
with those things
you are supposed to hold dear
discarding the most important
leaving it exposed, unprotected
ultimately unwanted

Because new thing
attracted your eye and
you walked away
leaving everything else
abruptly, surprisingly
unexpectedly

So careless
unconcerned
valuable things left laying out
disappearing without a second glance


So you can't be surprised
when the most precious
reclaims herself, refuses to allow your
detachment to create her decay

Withholding desire poured forth
hers, not yours, to discard
protect
love, no longer in your possession
she is cherishing herself
and remembering her worth
her fundamental right to be relished
appreciated and admired
to be attached to someone who won't
so easily let go
so simply walk away
so careless

Man Up

Let a tear fall
spill
tumble slowly down
Don't restrain it
just let it go
followed by a loose flow
breathe, while the others escape
stumbling down the ridge
of your fine cheekbone
resting on the firmness
of your perfect chin

It's real
the representation of emotion
of pain
actuality stunning the mind and
jogging the sense

And you've cried before
maybe not over a women
and certainly not over me
but, you need to know
that this is how it feels
what you have made others do
while your selfish desires were carried out

No. I am not cruel
Could not normally stand the sight
of a man crying for me
without my own tears
forming, joining
covering me and
I end up apologizing
for nothing, game flipped and
my sorries laid out
for pointing out your wrongs
and causing you to face your inequities

Not today
when you scoffed and laughed
bragged about the
emotional torment
you have caused so many
in the name of conquering and
winning, sexing and discarding
I set my heart to steel and
decided to let you feel the pain
sit through the burn
grind out the intense anguish
of emotions rejected and
heart ripped to shreds

Man up.
Let those tears spill.

No Man's Land

No man's land
where my mind keeps wanting to go
but my body is unable to follow
unwilling to step into the
social mind field
political whirlwind
societal destruction sure to follow
if one word of us
were ever to escape
to leak
to seep into the
mental hemisphere
spread into the realism of the situation
and soil anything that might have seemed
innocent and pure
for the sake of curiosity

No one is looking for love
or even companionship
but simple experience
a shared union and intertwined minutes
turned into hours where
mental musings abound and
sensual expressions overflow
the art of intimacy is shared
carefully taught
techniques conveyed and
lusts insatiable pull
silenced and satisfied

a mindfield

the lessons would involve
too many novelties
too much creativity
how could it end neatly, cleanly
without feelings being involved, hurt,
twisted and maimed
convoluted and poisoned
the beauty and simplicity
lost in the subsequent emotion
confusion
desire
of it all

Sparked

Sparked
ignited, this fuse is
lit and burning, blazing
startling

trailing a path
up my spine
down my heart
across the small of my back
along the nape of my neck

Hot and bothered
trying to maintain
cool and calm
while passion erupts
boils over
broils and bakes
bubbles and lifts
erupts
pouring and
running slowing down the insides
trickling like
melted wax dripping slowly
solidifying but
melting again and
molding to the unique, identifiable
thick and masculine
form
of you